Model Boys

August 15, 2013
muse

The contestant for “America’s Next Top Model” is asked what physical trait drew Tyra Banks’ attention.

The fetching young thing pauses a moment, then says, “To be honest, I think it’s the beard.” This is not your typical edition of “ANTM.”

The series itself is no longer hot stuff, banished to the Friday night TV graveyard. But with the launch this month of cycle 20, show creator Banks has a new gimmick: Guys go head-to-head with girls.

The males are predictably vapid. Don: “I just feel like my look is so unique.” Don has neatly groomed scruff and a tattoo that says “blessed” across his sternum.

Yet the men reinvigorate the tired premise with their guysiness.

Marvin the playa tells the ladies: “There is one condom in my possession and it expires this week.”

Kelten the plumber sighs: “Hopefully I would like never to have to go back to plumbing.”

Clad in tighty-whities and wearing boxing gloves, Chris H. punches guys in the balls. “I wasn’t trying to harm anyone,” he explains. “It’s just something I used to do when I played sports.”

Let’s hear it for the boy toys!

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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Travis Andrews · August 15, 2013