Farewell and hail: A poetic tribute to TV of 2013 and 2014

December 18, 2013
(ABC)
(ABC)

Oh, the losses of 2013
Shows that will ne’er again be seen.
“30 Rock” is over … blurg
“Breaking Bad’s” dead; so’s Heisenberg.
Who will tell you what not to wear?
Stacy and Clinton no longer care!
Characters have also given up the ghost
Spoiler alert: “Homeland’s” Brody is toast.
And Edna Krabapple “ha’d” her last “Ha!”
Of her sneer we were all in awe.
But don’t despair, TV fans,
2014 has a new game plan.
“Killer Women” (10 p.m. Jan. 7, ABC) is an ode to danger
With a beauty queen turned Texas Ranger.
“Enlisted” (9:30 p.m. Jan. 10, Fox) stars three bros with bad luck
On a military base they blow up a truck.
“Intelligence” (9 p.m. Jan. 7, CBS, then moves to 10 p.m. Mondays) puts a chip in the brain
of Agent Vaughan — that sounds insane!
The Bachelor’s back (8 p.m. Jan. 6, ABC) with poor Juan Pablo
Who can’t afford shirts to cover his torso.
Will the new year’s shows be truly viable?
If they flop, “House Hunters” (10 p.m. weeknights, HGTV) is always reliable.

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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Marissa Payne · December 18, 2013