Two of our more musically inclined employees got extra creative this week and penned a song that pits Rusty, the National Zoo‘s red panda, who famously escaped his enclosure last summer, against Bao Bao, the Zoo’s latest edition to its panda realm, who will go on public view this weekend for the first time. No matter which panda camp you prefer, however, we’re sure everyone will get a kick out of the original Panda Smackdown Duet.
Play Panda Smackdown Duet
Why does everyone love that Bao Bao?
I’m pretty sure she’ll bite
I wish we’d named her Mulan instead
And infringed on Disney’s copyright
A red panda like me
Would make a much better pet
You could fit me in a cat carrier
And take me to the vet
Giant Pandas, they will make you a sad sack
You fall in love, then China takes ‘em back
Rusty’s famous for hating humans
He scorned your admiration
He took off into Rock Creek Park
So why do you have this strange fixation?
I’m a Chinese mystery
I nobly poop bamboo
I’m polite, chaste and awe-inspiring
I make the tourists coo
Red panda, you’re a faker, you’re just a cut-rate fox
I’m the zoo’s rainmaker and we all know money talks.
Rusty: Chaste? Your parents watched porn to breed
Bao Bao: Thanks to Twitter, the Zoo had you treed
Rusty: At least I know how to have some fun
Bao Bao: You’ll never be a favorite if you’re always on the run
Why are we fighting?
We’re both hella-cute
If we join forces
We can give the naked mole rats the boot