‘Dimly Lit Meals for One’ will make you laugh till you’re no longer hungry

Mmm… hot dogs garnished with hot dogs.(Thinkstock) Mmm… hot dogs garnished with hot dogs.(Thinkstock)

It’s not sad if it’s funny, right? At least if we’re talking about Tumblr. Get a load of today’s round-up of Internet greatness right now:

“Consider this a warning: Do NOT read this blog if: 1. You happen to be eating alone right now; 2. You enjoy being happy; 3. Food fail sightings send you into deep depression.” —Nora Landis-Shack at foodbeast.com cautions readers before they direct their browsers to “Dimly Lit Meals for One,” a Tumblr that highlights the saddest looking meals on the Web. However, one man’s mayonnaise sandwich is another man’s comic fodder, which may explain why the blog is going viral.

“Ferrell tackled one of the most pressing journalistic questions of all time, a question that dozens of politicians, celebrities and Hollywood movers and shakers have ducked for many years—‘Does Mark Wahlberg smell nice?’ ” — Rebecca Rose at jezebel.com highlights a question from Will Ferrell’s recent “Ask me Anything” stint on Reddit. Ferrell took to the popular site to promote a nonprofit called Cancer for College, which helps provide college scholarships to cancer survivors. And his answer? Wahlberg’s “scent is a pleasing combination of vanilla and leather,” Ferrell wrote.

“Behind the juvenile penmanship, these girls seem strangely insightful when listing qualities of an ideal partner.” — commenter Shaifa Jazlyn R at huffingtonpost.com reacts to a photo list of 30 “boyfriend rules” penned by two young sisters, aged 6 and 9. Among the most insightful tips, perhaps, are “don’t pick your nose” and “doesn’t tattle tale.”

“In this respect, what made American food distinctly American largely boiled down to not really caring much about what one ate.” — James McWilliams at psmag.com gets to the guts of why it’s been hard to define what American food is. The reason, McWilliams says, is because when the United States was coming together centuries ago, people were too busy writing the Constitution and, you know, just generally trying to survive to create a cuisine.

“Leave it to our current era to take a contemplative, solitary, enjoyable activity and turn it into a stress-inducing contest.” — redditor wysiwye at reddit.com comments on a reading test produced by the office supply chain Staples that measures reading speed and ranks your score against world averages. Then it makes you feel bad. For example, your blog logger apparently has the reading speed of an eighth grader. Take the test and rub your score in our face by tweeting us @WaPoExpress or leaving a comment below.

Marissa Payne writes for The Early Lead, a fast-breaking sports blog, where she focuses on what she calls the “cultural anthropological” side of sports, aka “mostly the fun stuff.” She is also an avid WWE fan.

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Diana D'Abruzzo · February 6, 2014