“Pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band” are six words that all make sense individually but not so much when you put them together. Unless you’re Macaulay Culkin, who cooked up The Pizza Underground. The band takes Velvet Underground songs and makes them about everyone’s favorite noncookie round food (VU leader Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side” becomes “Take a Bite of the Wild Slice”). With Culkin and his pie-centric group in town for a sold-out show at the Black Cat on Friday, we rounded up some local restaurants that serve slices we think Culkin’s childhood movie characters would appreciate.
Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW; Fri., 9 p.m., sold out; 202-667-4490. (U Street)
In the 1990 blockbuster, hilariously abandoned 8-year-old Kevin — though living just outside Chicago — inexplicably orders a thin-crust pizza to feast on solo. Real Chicago pizza has a deep crust and the tomato sauce is on top — just like those served at District of Pi, which also names its pies after Windy City neighborhoods.
District of Pi, 910 F St. NW; 202-393-5484. (Gallery Place)
‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’
Two years later, Kevin again finds himself family-less, but this time he’s in the Big Apple. Which means he can now order the city’s signature thin crust. It’s the same kind served at Wiseguy Pizza, which brags on its “Newyorkinized water” and sells slices so large you have to fold them.
Wiseguy Pizza, 300 Massachusetts Ave. NW; 202-408-7800. (Judiciary Square)
Pizza is usually cheap, but it doesn’t have to be — and for Culkin’s title character in 1994, it probably wouldn’t be. At Pete’s Apizza, you can pick up a $32 large pie, but you get what you pay for: The Long Wharf is a white pizza topped with basil pesto, lemon oil, shrimp and Chesapeake clams.
Pete’s Apizza,various locations.
The greatest tearjerker of 1991 gets a twofold pizza: the honey, ham and pineapple at We the Pizza. First, this pie — topped with roasted pineapple, Virginia ham, ginger, honey and lemongrass — is sweet, and so is the movie. Second, the honey comes from bees, which caused Culkin’s character’s untimely, sting-filled death. We can just focus on the sweet part.
We the Pizza, 305 Pennsylvania Ave. SE; 202-544-4008.
‘Sex and Breakfast’
Wondering which D.C. pizza we think would appeal most to Culkin’s character from this 2007 film? (Oh, be honest: You didn’t know this movie existed.) Well, we couldn’t find a wife-swapping-themed pie. But Comet Ping Pong offers the Sunrise Pizza during its weekend brunch: ham, cheddar, potato and an egg all atop a crust. You can also add bacon, and you should always add bacon.
Comet Ping Pong, 5037 Connecticut Ave NW; 202-364-0404.