Teen tells the government how to save millions by switching fonts

Mulan

A sixth-grade science fair project has turned into something much more explosive than your typical baking soda and vinegar volcano. Suvir Mirchandani found that if federal and state governments switched fonts from Times New Roman to Garamond, the government’s annual ink expenditures would drop by $467 million. After analyzing his school’s ink usage, Suvir extrapolated his findings to the government and published them in the Journal for Emerging Investigators, subsequently blowing the internet’s mind. Meanwhile, over at Medium, there is understandable outraged about the ranking of Mulan’s “Man Outta You” on a Disney songs bracket.

“A controversy erupted in my office on Monday morning when my colleagues took issue with the #2/#7 upset: there are a lot of ‘Man Outta You’/Mulan fans out there, but ‘Go The Distance’ is perhaps the best song from Hercules, one of Disney’s strongest musicals.” — Adam Peck at medium.com recounts the behind-the-scenes making of a bracket that breaks down the best Disney songs of all time. Peck whittled 32 songs down to a final winner: Aladdin’s “A Whole New World.” Disagree with this as much as we do? Tweet us at @WaPoExpress.

“Lobbyists for Arial and Cooper Black immediately invited the members of the Senate Printed Materials Committee on an all expenses paid trip to the newly opened Font Institute, located in the Bahamas.” — Commenter John M. at Huffingtonpost.com speculates on the response to a 14-year-old’s findings that the U.S. could save hundreds of millions of dollars if it switches fonts. Suvir Mirchandani concluded that annual ink expenditures would drop by $467 million if federal and state governments switched from Times New Roman to Garamond. 

“A mani and a pedi-atrician, please.” — commenter Glenn Garvie at NorthJersey.com jokes about a pregnant woman who gave birth at Eden Nails in Glen Rock, N.J. The woman arrived at the salon already in labor, but figured that she had time for a manicure, pedicure and foot massage because she was in labor for 44 hours with her previous child. Then, before her nails were even dry, she gave birth on the salon’s tiled bathroom floor.

“On Saturday he ate through one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, one slice of watermelon, because he was an emotional eater, and that’s fine.” — Keely Flahery at Buzzfeed reimagines “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle and 15 other classic children’s books for adults.

“Hey, you know what sucks about weight-loss shakes, aside from ‘everything?’ ”  — C.A. Pinkham at Jezebel highlights a line of bacon-flavored weight-loss shakes that are intended to improve upon the usual chalk-flavored drinks. In addition to chocolate bacon, Pinkham notes that other flavors include: “bacon popcorn (with you so far), bacon salt (OK, sounds alright), baconnaise (weird, but I’m still with you), bacon deodorant (uhhhh), bacon sunscreen (what the hell?), bacon shaving cream (WAT), bacon-flavored lube (NO PLZ TO STAHP).”

 

Rachel Sadon is the local news editor for Express
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