What your beer says about your World Cup tastes

June 12

In the global gathering that is the World Cup, something as innocuous as the beer you order could send a message about who you root for or what kind of fan you are. Drink responsibly.

Stella Artois
Stella Artois — perfectly decent

Stella Artois and the Belgian team share a lot of the same qualities. They’re both pretty good, and seem to be everyone’s second favorite. Like rooting for Belgium, ordering a Stella will offend nobody and may earn you a few nods of approval.

Peroni ... the Natty Light of Italy
Peroni … the Natty Light of Italy

You ordered Peroni because, let’s be honest, it’s Italian and you want to seem fancy — the same reasons you root for the Italian national team (if you’re not from Italy). But just like Italy is often painful to watch, Peroni is painful to drink.

Embodying American spirit while being managed by Europeans — that’s what both team USA and Budweiser represent. Order this, and do your best impression of U.S. national team coach

Jurgen Klinsmann’s signature celebratory dive.

Dos Equis? More like dos a cero, an American fan would say (it’s the taunt Americans direct at the Mexican team after beating it 2-0 in four straight home World Cup Qualifiers). Like Mexico, this beer is just not as good as its American competitors on U.S. soil.

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Holley Simmons · June 12