Where was I before the screaming woke me up? Oh, yes: Dreaming of "College Road Trip" as it might have been directed by Roger Kumble if he wasn't saddled with the leaden Martin Lawrence and Disney Channel diva Raven-Symon?. Okay, this is the rare G-rated movie, and for that it deserves extra credit. But Kumble ("The Sweetest Thing," "Cruel Intentions") has a talent for the twisted that was never going to be allowed to run free in a movie starring these two.

Not that we expected much, when all is said and done. But "College Road Trip" ran out of ideas just after they came up with the title and had the inevitable meeting: "Picture it," you can hear the producers say, "Lawrence as James, the overprotective father. Raven-Symon? as Melanie, the brilliant, suffocated daughter. Put them on the road! Hilarity ensues!"

Story, you ask? There is one: James is the police chief of the town that he and his family call home and as such is painfully attuned to the evils of the world. He wants his daughter unscathed by any of it. She, on the other hand, wants to par- tay-- although she still has great grades, a great attitude and virtually her pick of colleges. Dad wants her to go to Northwestern; she wants to go to Georgetown. Eventually, however, he relents and agrees to drive her to Washington.

Perhaps there will be people who do laugh at Lawrence and Raven-Symon? screaming in tandem, or mugging their way along every tortured mile of their road trip, or unwittingly joining a sky-diving club and having to parachute into Washington so Melanie can make her interview. Heck, it was all really funny when they did it on "I Love Lucy."

-- John Anderson (Friday, March 7, 2008)

Contains nothing objectionable.