I must have snoozed through the history class when we learned that Anne Boleyn withheld sexual favors from Henry VIII until he dumped Catherine of Aragon, created the Church of England and put her on the throne. Otherwise, I'd be a Tudor historian today.

Watch "The Other Boleyn Girl" and you'll see How It All Happened. Of course, most of this adaptation of Philippa Gregory's popular "historical" novel is fictional hokum. Essentially, the movie, like its immediate source material, is about half a notch above a shameless bodice ripper, starring Scarlett Johansson as Mary Boleyn, the "other" of the title, and Natalie Portman as her more famous sister, who amounts to Iago in a dress.

About two-thirds sophisticated seductress and one-third Satan's seed, this Anne stops at nothing to secure that snug spot in His Majesty's four-poster bed. Her modus operandi includes sib-on-sib back-stabbing, treachery and even -- horrors! -- attempted incest with brother George Boleyn (Jim Sturgess). All this to produce a male heir for Henry (played with buff-bodied diffidence by Eric Bana). Never was marrying up this ruthless and Machiavellian.

There's a guilty pleasure to these and other soap-opera shenanigans, visually ennobled by the costumes and royal lifestyles. "The Other Boleyn Girl" also serves as a telling indictment about the way women have historically been treated as chattel for the sake of social and financial advancement. But even by its own standards, the movie becomes increasingly macabre and ludicrous as Anne's machinations get the better of her, and everyone, including the audience, is left feeling shattered, shaken and vaguely unclean for having participated in all this.

-- Desson Thomson (Friday, Feb. 29, 2008)

Contains nudity, sexual situations and off-camera gore.