I like watching snakes eat mice just as much as the next fella, maybe even more, but "The Strangers" turns the gobble-'em-up into an ordeal. It's a fraud from start to finish.

In the film, three strangers in campy Halloween masks stalk and torment two handsome 30-somethings in a well-appointed summer home. The two victims are all but defenseless in the face of the assault, so they never acquire much respect from the audience; though if the movie's a hit, you can bet Smith & Wesson's profits go through the roof. The unfortunate couple, played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman, are initially presented as somehow dysfunctional; they mumble morosely and act like they've wandered in from a Bergman movie about anomie in suburban Stockholm. Like everything else in the movie, this is never explained.

When, in the middle of the night, someone knocks on the door, domestic problems are forgotten and survival becomes an issue, though both are completely incompetent. Writer-director Bryan Bertino leaves no stone unturned in his quest for cliche and his unbelievable depictions of behavior. For the latter, try this: A fellow passing by the house has his windshield blown out by a shotgun. Does he step on the gas? Does he call the cops on his cellphone? No, he gets out of the car and walks into the house showing clear signs of violent disturbance without announcing himself. A tragedy soon follows, but not as big as the one that compelled me to sit through the whole thing.

-- Stephen Hunter (May 30, 2008)

Contains violence, terror, gore and strong language.