Here Comes Santa Claus
By Donna Peremes
Special to The Washington Post
Friday, December 24, 2004
YES, VIRGINIA, Maryland and D.C., there is a water-skiing Santa, and he's a very, very busy man.
"I've got the Grinch on the other line, and this is urgent," Santa says at the start of a recent phone interview. Then --
"Hang on one more second. We're having Frosty the Snowman costume rental issues."
Apparently the rental company is a wee bit concerned at the prospect of its wares on water. Perhaps it should be.
Frosty, who's new this year, will be "out there in a dinghy, just tearing it up"; Santa fears the gentle, kindhearted snowman may even end up stealing the limelight from the jet-skiing Grinch, who's used to being "a real showstopper."
Claus -- he also answers to "Nick" or "Kris," but "never, ever" divulges any other identity to the media -- shudders at the thought of a Frosty-Grinch standoff.
Or maybe those chills come from memories of all those cold and soggy Christmas gigs past (this year will be his 19th on the water) such as the one a few years back when a steel-hulled workboat was needed to break the ice in the frozen Potomac in order for the merriment to ensue. Santa remembers "pieces of ice the size of a desktop" flying in the air.
"The crowd went nuts!" he says with an unmistakable twinkle in his tone.
Indeed, despite the perennially frigid conditions, Santa is convinced he has the best seat in the house. "I wish I could have a Santa-cam, because nobody gets the view I do . . . [of] screaming, happy people," he says.
In typically generous fashion, he's quick to acknowledge the yeoman work of the kneeboarding reindeer, who have the "hardest job" -- bending one's knees in a wet suit isn't easy, he points out.
As fate would have it, one of the reindeer ended up playing a very big role in Santa's life, and we don't mean Rudolph: Turns out Mrs. Claus was once an antlered participant. She likes to say she "romanced her way to the dry boat," Santa chuckles.
Claus clearly gets a kick out of his day in the anemic winter sun, but -- and you heard it here first -- next year will be his last on the water.
Why? "Santa's older now," he says, a bit of an edge creeping into his jovial mien. He'll be 55 next year, and what started as a lark with some buddies when he was in his thirties is taking more of a physical toll as time marches on.
Perhaps some glucosamine and chondroitin would be more welcome than milk and cookies at the meet-and-greets, where the whole crew gathers before and after the show at the Columbia Island Marina concession building.
The existence of such encounters is proof of how far Santa has come since his inaugural year, 1986, when he entertained an audience of two ("a Channel 4 news cameraman and my mother") on the shoreline. Today, he and his helpers have been on CNN Headline News and the Travel Channel, with e-mails arriving from such far away lands as Italy and Venezuela.
Despite the bigger profile, he's kept the flame of his simple message alive: "It's all about fun."
Only a Grinch would throw cold water on that sentiment.
