Thanks for the invite, 'Rileys,' but we'll pass
By Michael O'Sullivan
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
In the loudly profane, dimly lit, and simultaneously predictable and implausible "Welcome to the Rileys," Kristen Stewart's foul-mouthed 15-year-old runaway stripper-prostitute takes every opportunity to broadcast her discontent with the world. Mainly, it's through a nearly continuous stream of F-bombs, interrupted only by clinical discussions of her, um, moneymaker.
At one point it gets so bad that James Gandolfini, playing the middle-aged businessman who improbably becomes the platonic benefactor of Mallory (Stewart), threatens to dock her a dollar for every curse word she utters, out of the hundred bucks a day he's paying for the privilege of sharing her New Orleans dump with her.
Look, I never said any of this made sense.
Melodramatically enough, Mallory reminds Doug (Gandolfini) of his late teenage daughter, who died in a car crash.
Meanwhile, back in Indianapolis, Doug's wife, Lois (Melissa Leo) , has been blaming herself for their daughter's death, turning into an agoraphobic who's unable to leave the house. Until, that is, she decides to jump in the car and follow Doug.
Next thing you know, Doug and Lois are living out of a suitcase in the Lower Ninth Ward with Mallory.
You can probably see where this is going. Mallory needs a mom and dad, and Doug and Lois need to find a way to come to terms with their grief and guilt, in the process reconnecting with each other.
"Welcome to the Rileys"? Thanks, but no thanks.
Rated R for pervasive vulgarity and sexual content, drug use and smoking.