Date Lab: If this was the best ... we have concerns

Correction: This feature originally misstated the age of Micah Subar. He is 22, not 23. This version has been updated.


(Courtesy of the daters)
May 5, 2012
About the daters ...
Fitness routine ...

Ilana: I’ve been a lifelong health and fitness fan. I’m also a former NCAA athlete!

Micah: Running, biking, rock climbing, mountaineering, swimming, weight lifting, the list goes on.

Happiest when ...

Ilana: Watching UCLA basketball in Pauley Pavilion with my Dad. Doing what I love with someone I love.

Micah: Getting in the zone on a good run. Climbing in the mountains. Performing a solid set of music to a receptive audience. Basically doing the things I love doing.

Your type ...

Ilana: I like a man who appreciates his family, has goals and a drive, has good manners and is considerate of others, is financially responsible, has a social life, is positive, and can be perfectly happy enjoying the outdoors, going to the game, or just staying in.


(Courtesy of the daters)

Micah: She’s gotta appreciate the outdoors and being active. If she appreciates good indie, classic rock, and singer-songwriter music, that’s super great, too. A love of adventure and travel is a plus. Jewish (not a requirement, but much appreciated).

Interests to Share ...

Ilana: I want to explore D.C., as I’m new here, and hopefully do it outside or via the sports and/or beer scene!

Micah: Outdoors, climbing, running, biking, definitely good-quality music. She should be somewhat introspective, though if she was too much, that would be a bad thing.

About the date ...

8 p.m., Cedar Restaurant, Chinatown

Micah: Normally before any sort of date, I exercise or do something, so I went on a nice 27-mile bike ride, nothing special, then showered up and headed out to the date. I ended up getting there slightly early. I sat down and just sort of hung out.

Ilana: I was a little bit late by a few minutes. I didn’t see him initially, and then when I did see him, his back was facing me, so I didn’t see his face until after I walked over.

Micah: We were introduced. I think I went for a handshake, and then we did some sort of awkward hug thing. I don’t know that I have a type, but I wouldn’t say she is the type of person that I’m really attracted to. She didn’t smile that much, and I’m a pretty happy person. That kind of threw me off. [But] at that point, I was like, “I’ll just try to make it as fun as possible.”

Ilana: He was pretty cute, probably not exactly my type ... usually I’m [into] a little taller. We got drinks and he was pretty quiet. I just asked questions and he answered, but he didn’t ask back, so it took a while to warm him up. I think it probably took longer than I would have liked. It was awkward.

Micah: It felt like an interview. She’d ask me a question and I’d answer it, and I’d throw it back to her. I’m pretty conversational, I like to discuss things. I’m not usually a question-and-answer type. I don’t like to make quick judgments, but I sort of had the feeling once I started talking to her that she wasn’t going to be someone I was interested in. It was partly that she was just not very enthusiastic.

Ilana:He’s still in school so we talked about that a little bit. We talked about both of our Jewish upbringing. He was kind of blunt about it. He was like, “So, I’m just going to guess, you’re Jewish, right?” We talked a lot about the outdoor activities we liked in terms of hiking, biking, stuff like that.

Micah: I’m big into the outdoors in a serious way, and it seemed like she was into that but sort of on a surface level. Like she said, “I’m really into the outdoors,” and I was like, “Oh, so what have you done?” And she was like, “Oh, well, not really anything.” [But] we did have things in common. We had similar tastes in music. That’s when the conversation got going more.

Ilana: Some of his answers were, like, a little opinionated [or] not very open. There’s this band out of Baltimore called Beach House, and we were talking about them because I really like them and he was really adamant that their music doesn’t go anywhere. I don’t agree but he was pretty adamant, so I didn’t want to argue. It was a little awkward.

Micah: We were there for a while before we ordered. In the beginning, she was probably doing more of the work of the conversation but I felt like I was working extra hard to try to make things fun. That was weird for me.

Ilana: We got along, [but] I don’t know that I’d call it romantic chemistry.

Micah: I’d say there was little chemistry, minor flirting if anything.

Ilana:I think we were maybe, like, the last or second-to-last people [at the restaurant]. I don’t think we left until maybe 11. From there, we decided just to go into Chinatown and check out some bars there.

Micah: I just wanted to go out somewhere and maybe talk to her in a different setting. We ended up going to Rocket Bar. It was more relaxed.

Ilana: We didn’t have much time because the Metro was [closing] at midnight. At the Metro station, it was really awkward. I was like, “Well, let me get your number,” just for the heck of it, and he was really kind of ambivalent, like, “Do you want to?” I was going to hug him goodbye, but he was just standing there awkwardly and he kind of waved.

Micah: It was like, “Bye, maybe see you, maybe not.” I was kind of feeling done with it at that point.

Ilana: I’d [rate the date] probably a 3, maybe a 3.5 [out of 5] because I had fun. I wouldn’t mind doing something outdoorsy with him, but I’m not hellbent on things ever being romantic.

Micah: I would say a 2 because I definitely was not romantically interested. I felt that if it was someone that I really liked, I would have noticed.

UPDATE: No contact since the date, but Micah says, in retrospect, “It was the best blind date I’ve ever been on.”

Nominate a friend for Date Lab! Reach us at datelab@washpost.com or on Twitter@datelab or Facebook and tell us why he or she is a great catch.

SECTION: {section=lifestyle, subsection=magazine}!!!
INITIAL commentConfig: {includereply=true, canvas_permalink_id=washpost.com/8bvh5zpd9k, allow_comments=true, commentmaxlength=2000, includeshare=true, display_comments=true, canvas_permalink_app_instance=m6yzjj840m, moderationrequired=false, display_more=true, includefeaturenotification=true, canvas_allcomments_id=washpost.com/km4ey0dajm, defaultsort=reverseChronological, comments_period=14, includevoteofftopic=false, allow_videos=false, childrenitemsperpage=3, markerdisplay=post_commenter:Post Commenter|staff:Post Writer|top_commenter:Post Forum|top_local:Washingtologist|top_sports:SuperFan|fact_checker:Fact Checker|post_recommended:Post Recommended|world_watcher:World Watcher|cultuer_connoisseur:Culture Connoisseur|weather_watcher:Capital Weather Watcher|post_contributor:Post Contributor, includesorts=true, includeheader=true, defaulttab=all, includeverifiedcommenters=true, includerecommend=true, maxitemstop=3, includereport=true, source=washpost.com, allow_photos=false, maxitems=15, includepause=true, display_ugc_photos=false, canvas_allcomments_app_instance=6634zxcgfd, includepermalink=false}!!!

UGC FROM ARTICLE: {allow_comments=true, allow_photos=false, allow_videos=false, comments_period=14, comments_source=washpost.com, default_sort=, default_tab=, display_comments=true, is_ugc_gallery=false, max_items_to_display=15, max_items_to_display_top=3, moderation_required=false, stream_id=}!!!

FINAL commentConfig: {includereply=true, canvas_permalink_id=washpost.com/8bvh5zpd9k, allow_comments=true, commentmaxlength=2000, includeshare=true, display_comments=true, canvas_permalink_app_instance=m6yzjj840m, moderationrequired=false, display_more=true, includefeaturenotification=true, canvas_allcomments_id=washpost.com/km4ey0dajm, defaultsort=reverseChronological, comments_period=14, includevoteofftopic=false, allow_videos=false, childrenitemsperpage=3, markerdisplay=post_commenter:Post Commenter|staff:Post Writer|top_commenter:Post Forum|top_local:Washingtologist|top_sports:SuperFan|fact_checker:Fact Checker|post_recommended:Post Recommended|world_watcher:World Watcher|cultuer_connoisseur:Culture Connoisseur|weather_watcher:Capital Weather Watcher|post_contributor:Post Contributor, includesorts=true, includeheader=true, defaulttab=all, includeverifiedcommenters=true, includerecommend=true, maxitemstop=3, includereport=true, source=washpost.com, allow_photos=false, maxitems=15, includepause=true, display_ugc_photos=false, canvas_allcomments_app_instance=6634zxcgfd, includepermalink=false}!!
Comments
SECTION: {section=lifestyle, subsection=magazine}!!!
INITIAL commentConfig: {includereply=true, canvas_permalink_id=washpost.com/8bvh5zpd9k, allow_comments=true, commentmaxlength=2000, includeshare=true, display_comments=true, canvas_permalink_app_instance=m6yzjj840m, moderationrequired=false, display_more=true, includefeaturenotification=true, canvas_allcomments_id=washpost.com/km4ey0dajm, defaultsort=reverseChronological, comments_period=14, includevoteofftopic=false, allow_videos=false, childrenitemsperpage=3, markerdisplay=post_commenter:Post Commenter|staff:Post Writer|top_commenter:Post Forum|top_local:Washingtologist|top_sports:SuperFan|fact_checker:Fact Checker|post_recommended:Post Recommended|world_watcher:World Watcher|cultuer_connoisseur:Culture Connoisseur|weather_watcher:Capital Weather Watcher|post_contributor:Post Contributor, includesorts=true, includeheader=true, defaulttab=all, includeverifiedcommenters=true, includerecommend=true, maxitemstop=3, includereport=true, source=washpost.com, allow_photos=false, maxitems=15, includepause=true, display_ugc_photos=false, canvas_allcomments_app_instance=6634zxcgfd, includepermalink=false}!!!

UGC FROM ARTICLE: {allow_comments=true, allow_photos=false, allow_videos=false, comments_period=14, comments_source=washpost.com, default_sort=, default_tab=, display_comments=true, is_ugc_gallery=false, max_items_to_display=15, max_items_to_display_top=3, moderation_required=false, stream_id=}!!!

FINAL commentConfig: {includereply=true, canvas_permalink_id=washpost.com/8bvh5zpd9k, allow_comments=true, commentmaxlength=2000, includeshare=true, display_comments=true, canvas_permalink_app_instance=m6yzjj840m, moderationrequired=false, display_more=true, includefeaturenotification=true, canvas_allcomments_id=washpost.com/km4ey0dajm, defaultsort=reverseChronological, comments_period=14, includevoteofftopic=false, allow_videos=false, childrenitemsperpage=3, markerdisplay=post_commenter:Post Commenter|staff:Post Writer|top_commenter:Post Forum|top_local:Washingtologist|top_sports:SuperFan|fact_checker:Fact Checker|post_recommended:Post Recommended|world_watcher:World Watcher|cultuer_connoisseur:Culture Connoisseur|weather_watcher:Capital Weather Watcher|post_contributor:Post Contributor, includesorts=true, includeheader=true, defaulttab=all, includeverifiedcommenters=true, includerecommend=true, maxitemstop=3, includereport=true, source=washpost.com, allow_photos=false, maxitems=15, includepause=true, display_ugc_photos=false, canvas_allcomments_app_instance=6634zxcgfd, includepermalink=false}!!
Show Comments