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The vow

Journalist Robert Melton suffered a stroke that left him irrevocably changed. When his wife found a new love, she was determined to keep Robert with her.

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Page and Robert Melton share a moment in Richmond. The two married in 1995 and had two children, Hope and Nell. In 2003, Robert, a reporter who covered Virginia politics for The Post and had recently had a heart attack, collapsed at home and stopped breathing. After he was revived at the hospital, doctors told Page that the lack of oxygen to Robert’s brain had caused hypoxic-ischemic brain injury, moderately severe. He’d had little physical impairment, but his cognitive loss was profound. He spent time in a rehabilitation hospital in Virginia, then a residential facility for brain-injury patients in North Carolina.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Hope Melton, 11, sister Nell, 9, Robert and Harrison Ivie say grace before a meal. By January 2004, Robert had made enough progress that he could go home to Richmond, but progress slowed. He could speak, read and write, but he couldn’t hold onto the meaning behind words. He had little judgment or control over his behavior and was increasingly frustrated. “He didn’t remember his former life,” Page says, “but he knew it was something more than he had at the time.” He eventually moved into an assisted-living facility, where he settled into a routine that eased his anxiety.

Hope Melton, 11, sister Nell, 9, Robert and Harrison Ivie say grace before a meal. By January 2004, Robert had made enough progress that he could go home to Richmond, but progress slowed. He could speak, read and write, but he couldn’t hold onto the meaning behind words. He had little judgment or control over his behavior and was increasingly frustrated. “He didn’t remember his former life,” Page says, “but he knew it was something more than he had at the time.” He eventually moved into an assisted-living facility, where he settled into a routine that eased his anxiety.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan D. Ivie IV talks to Nell Melton in the family's Creve Coeur, Mo., home. Between her job as a government-affairs consultant, raising the girls and making sure Robert was well, Page didn’t go out much socially. But in 2008, she ran into Allan, a childhood friend who, in time, became much more. “It had never occurred to me at that point to be in a relationship,” she says. “It felt disloyal to Robert.” As Allan started falling in love with Page, he said to her: “I see this responsibility that you have, and I want to help you with it. I understand this is a package deal.”

Allan D. Ivie IV talks to Nell Melton in the family's Creve Coeur, Mo., home. Between her job as a government-affairs consultant, raising the girls and making sure Robert was well, Page didn’t go out much socially. But in 2008, she ran into Allan, a childhood friend who, in time, became much more. “It had never occurred to me at that point to be in a relationship,” she says. “It felt disloyal to Robert.” As Allan started falling in love with Page, he said to her: “I see this responsibility that you have, and I want to help you with it. I understand this is a package deal.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan and Robert have breakfast in Des Peres, Mo., continuing a tradition they started in Richmond. Allan also writes Robert an e-mail every day. Allan “understood that Robert was central to our lives,” Page says. In June 2010, she told Robert that Allan had asked her to marry him. “You should marry him,” Robert said. “He’s a good guy.” She hired a lawyer for her and for Robert, and the divorce was final in early 2011. Page wanted to remain Robert’s legal guardian; no one objected. Robert’s brother Will signed for Robert.

Allan and Robert have breakfast in Des Peres, Mo., continuing a tradition they started in Richmond. Allan also writes Robert an e-mail every day. Allan “understood that Robert was central to our lives,” Page says. In June 2010, she told Robert that Allan had asked her to marry him. “You should marry him,” Robert said. “He’s a good guy.” She hired a lawyer for her and for Robert, and the divorce was final in early 2011. Page wanted to remain Robert’s legal guardian; no one objected. Robert’s brother Will signed for Robert.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

When Page and Allan married in March, Robert was not at the wedding. “It broke my heart to not be married to Robert anymore, in spite of all the good that was going to happen,” Page says. She and her daughters moved to Missouri to live with Allan and his sons; they moved Robert into an assisted-living facility in Missouri. “In a way, I feel married to Robert forever,” Page said a few days before leaving for St. Louis. “It’s not a traditional marriage. It’s not the marriage we signed up for. But I feel like there’s a connection there that never ends.”

When Page and Allan married in March, Robert was not at the wedding. “It broke my heart to not be married to Robert anymore, in spite of all the good that was going to happen,” Page says. She and her daughters moved to Missouri to live with Allan and his sons; they moved Robert into an assisted-living facility in Missouri. “In a way, I feel married to Robert forever,” Page said a few days before leaving for St. Louis. “It’s not a traditional marriage. It’s not the marriage we signed up for. But I feel like there’s a connection there that never ends.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Page, now Page Melton Ivie, visits Robert in his room at Sunrise of Des Peres in Missouri. His room looks just as his assisted-living room did in Richmond. Robert seems to be adapting best of all of them, Page and Allan both say, and he takes part in numerous clubs and events. “I’ve got the calendar of today’s activities, and I have done the whole nine yards,” he tells Page one afternoon. “Aren’t you proud of me, darlin’?” Page still sees him several times a week, taking him out or to the house, bringing him iced tea for his refrigerator or books of word searches.

Page, now Page Melton Ivie, visits Robert in his room at Sunrise of Des Peres in Missouri. His room looks just as his assisted-living room did in Richmond. Robert seems to be adapting best of all of them, Page and Allan both say, and he takes part in numerous clubs and events. “I’ve got the calendar of today’s activities, and I have done the whole nine yards,” he tells Page one afternoon. “Aren’t you proud of me, darlin’?” Page still sees him several times a week, taking him out or to the house, bringing him iced tea for his refrigerator or books of word searches.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Robert and Hope swim in the pool at the Ivie house in Creve Coeur, Mo. Hope was 3 when Robert fell ill, and Nell was only 18 months old. Page believes that although they haven’t had the benefit of Robert’s intellect, they have picked up something just as valuable from their father: a sense of compassion.

Robert and Hope swim in the pool at the Ivie house in Creve Coeur, Mo. Hope was 3 when Robert fell ill, and Nell was only 18 months old. Page believes that although they haven’t had the benefit of Robert’s intellect, they have picked up something just as valuable from their father: a sense of compassion.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan’s embrace of Robert is not an act of altruism, Allan says: “Truthfully, it came down to realizing that if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Page . . . that was a pretty big incentive to do it.” Page walks gingerly between her former and current husband, trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. She says that, in a way, Robert has grasped the essence of their relationship better than any of them. He understands, she says, “that it’s not the legal arrangement, it’s the emotional arrangement, that emotional commitment.”

Allan’s embrace of Robert is not an act of altruism, Allan says: “Truthfully, it came down to realizing that if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Page . . . that was a pretty big incentive to do it.” Page walks gingerly between her former and current husband, trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. She says that, in a way, Robert has grasped the essence of their relationship better than any of them. He understands, she says, “that it’s not the legal arrangement, it’s the emotional arrangement, that emotional commitment.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

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