More
- Classifieds
- Cars
- Deals
- Real Estate
- Rentals
- Photos
- Find&Save
- Obituaries
- Archives
- Topics
- Blogs
- WP Wine Club

In the News

The vow

Journalist Robert Melton suffered a stroke that left him irrevocably changed. When his wife found a new love, she was determined to keep Robert with her.

5 Seconds

00:00

00:00

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Page and Robert Melton share a moment in Richmond. The two married in 1995 and had two children, Hope and Nell. In 2003, Robert, a reporter who covered Virginia politics for The Post and had recently had a heart attack, collapsed at home and stopped breathing. After he was revived at the hospital, doctors told Page that the lack of oxygen to Robert’s brain had caused hypoxic-ischemic brain injury, moderately severe. He’d had little physical impairment, but his cognitive loss was profound. He spent time in a rehabilitation hospital in Virginia, then a residential facility for brain-injury patients in North Carolina.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Hope Melton, 11, sister Nell, 9, Robert and Harrison Ivie say grace before a meal. By January 2004, Robert had made enough progress that he could go home to Richmond, but progress slowed. He could speak, read and write, but he couldn’t hold onto the meaning behind words. He had little judgment or control over his behavior and was increasingly frustrated. “He didn’t remember his former life,” Page says, “but he knew it was something more than he had at the time.” He eventually moved into an assisted-living facility, where he settled into a routine that eased his anxiety.

Hope Melton, 11, sister Nell, 9, Robert and Harrison Ivie say grace before a meal. By January 2004, Robert had made enough progress that he could go home to Richmond, but progress slowed. He could speak, read and write, but he couldn’t hold onto the meaning behind words. He had little judgment or control over his behavior and was increasingly frustrated. “He didn’t remember his former life,” Page says, “but he knew it was something more than he had at the time.” He eventually moved into an assisted-living facility, where he settled into a routine that eased his anxiety.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan D. Ivie IV talks to Nell Melton in the family's Creve Coeur, Mo., home. Between her job as a government-affairs consultant, raising the girls and making sure Robert was well, Page didn’t go out much socially. But in 2008, she ran into Allan, a childhood friend who, in time, became much more. “It had never occurred to me at that point to be in a relationship,” she says. “It felt disloyal to Robert.” As Allan started falling in love with Page, he said to her: “I see this responsibility that you have, and I want to help you with it. I understand this is a package deal.”

Allan D. Ivie IV talks to Nell Melton in the family's Creve Coeur, Mo., home. Between her job as a government-affairs consultant, raising the girls and making sure Robert was well, Page didn’t go out much socially. But in 2008, she ran into Allan, a childhood friend who, in time, became much more. “It had never occurred to me at that point to be in a relationship,” she says. “It felt disloyal to Robert.” As Allan started falling in love with Page, he said to her: “I see this responsibility that you have, and I want to help you with it. I understand this is a package deal.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan and Robert have breakfast in Des Peres, Mo., continuing a tradition they started in Richmond. Allan also writes Robert an e-mail every day. Allan “understood that Robert was central to our lives,” Page says. In June 2010, she told Robert that Allan had asked her to marry him. “You should marry him,” Robert said. “He’s a good guy.” She hired a lawyer for her and for Robert, and the divorce was final in early 2011. Page wanted to remain Robert’s legal guardian; no one objected. Robert’s brother Will signed for Robert.

Allan and Robert have breakfast in Des Peres, Mo., continuing a tradition they started in Richmond. Allan also writes Robert an e-mail every day. Allan “understood that Robert was central to our lives,” Page says. In June 2010, she told Robert that Allan had asked her to marry him. “You should marry him,” Robert said. “He’s a good guy.” She hired a lawyer for her and for Robert, and the divorce was final in early 2011. Page wanted to remain Robert’s legal guardian; no one objected. Robert’s brother Will signed for Robert.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

When Page and Allan married in March, Robert was not at the wedding. “It broke my heart to not be married to Robert anymore, in spite of all the good that was going to happen,” Page says. She and her daughters moved to Missouri to live with Allan and his sons; they moved Robert into an assisted-living facility in Missouri. “In a way, I feel married to Robert forever,” Page said a few days before leaving for St. Louis. “It’s not a traditional marriage. It’s not the marriage we signed up for. But I feel like there’s a connection there that never ends.”

When Page and Allan married in March, Robert was not at the wedding. “It broke my heart to not be married to Robert anymore, in spite of all the good that was going to happen,” Page says. She and her daughters moved to Missouri to live with Allan and his sons; they moved Robert into an assisted-living facility in Missouri. “In a way, I feel married to Robert forever,” Page said a few days before leaving for St. Louis. “It’s not a traditional marriage. It’s not the marriage we signed up for. But I feel like there’s a connection there that never ends.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Page, now Page Melton Ivie, visits Robert in his room at Sunrise of Des Peres in Missouri. His room looks just as his assisted-living room did in Richmond. Robert seems to be adapting best of all of them, Page and Allan both say, and he takes part in numerous clubs and events. “I’ve got the calendar of today’s activities, and I have done the whole nine yards,” he tells Page one afternoon. “Aren’t you proud of me, darlin’?” Page still sees him several times a week, taking him out or to the house, bringing him iced tea for his refrigerator or books of word searches.

Page, now Page Melton Ivie, visits Robert in his room at Sunrise of Des Peres in Missouri. His room looks just as his assisted-living room did in Richmond. Robert seems to be adapting best of all of them, Page and Allan both say, and he takes part in numerous clubs and events. “I’ve got the calendar of today’s activities, and I have done the whole nine yards,” he tells Page one afternoon. “Aren’t you proud of me, darlin’?” Page still sees him several times a week, taking him out or to the house, bringing him iced tea for his refrigerator or books of word searches.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Robert and Hope swim in the pool at the Ivie house in Creve Coeur, Mo. Hope was 3 when Robert fell ill, and Nell was only 18 months old. Page believes that although they haven’t had the benefit of Robert’s intellect, they have picked up something just as valuable from their father: a sense of compassion.

Robert and Hope swim in the pool at the Ivie house in Creve Coeur, Mo. Hope was 3 when Robert fell ill, and Nell was only 18 months old. Page believes that although they haven’t had the benefit of Robert’s intellect, they have picked up something just as valuable from their father: a sense of compassion.

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

Allan’s embrace of Robert is not an act of altruism, Allan says: “Truthfully, it came down to realizing that if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Page . . . that was a pretty big incentive to do it.” Page walks gingerly between her former and current husband, trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. She says that, in a way, Robert has grasped the essence of their relationship better than any of them. He understands, she says, “that it’s not the legal arrangement, it’s the emotional arrangement, that emotional commitment.”

Allan’s embrace of Robert is not an act of altruism, Allan says: “Truthfully, it came down to realizing that if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Page . . . that was a pretty big incentive to do it.” Page walks gingerly between her former and current husband, trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. She says that, in a way, Robert has grasped the essence of their relationship better than any of them. He understands, she says, “that it’s not the legal arrangement, it’s the emotional arrangement, that emotional commitment.”

Matt McClain / FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

FEATURED PHOTO GALLERIES

epa03708924 Franziska (C) wears a helmet and carries a shield during the recreation of The Battle of the Teutoburg Museum in Bramsche, Germany, 20 May 2013. The everyday life of Romans and the Germanic people is depicted at Museum Park Kalkriese during the Romans and Germanic people days. EPA/Friso Gentsch

Photos of the day

Battle of Teutoburg Forest reenactment, Mars Curiosity rover drilling, massive tornado strikes Moore, Oklahoma and more.

A Burrowing owl tries to perch on a protective rope in a public park in Cooper City, Fla. Monday, May 20, 2013 as rain falls. (AP Photo/J Pat Carter)

Fun and fascinating creatures around the world.

ANNAPOLIS, MD - MAY 20: The Herndon Monument Climb is the traditional culmination of plebe year at the United States Naval Academy. The plebes climb to the top of the lard-covered 21 foot high monument and remove the 'dixie cup' hat at the top replacing it with an upperclassman's hat. After completing this, the freshmen are called 'fourth class midshipmen.' This class completed the task in 1 hour 32 minutes and 43 seconds. The hat was placed by Patrick Lien from Orlando. (Photo by Sarah L. Voisin/The Washington Post)

The Herndon Climb

The Herndon Monument climb is the traditional culmination of plebe year at the U.S. Naval Academy.

This combination of Associated Press photos shows left, a neighborhood in Moore, Okla., in ruins on Tuesday, May 4, 1999, after a tornado flattened many houses and buildings in central Oklahoma, and right, flattened houses in Moore on Monday, May 20, 2013. Monday's powerful tornado in suburban Oklahoma City loosely followed the path of a killer twister that slammed the region in May 1999. (AP Photo)

Okla. tornado loosely followed path of 1999 twister

Monday’s powerful tornado in suburban Oklahoma City loosely followed the path of a killer twister that slammed the area in May 1999.

Lea Bessinger salvages a picture of Jesus as she and her son Josh Bessinger sort through the rubble of the elder Bessinger's tornado-ravaged home Tuesday, May 21, 2013, in Moore, Okla. A huge tornado roared through the Oklahoma City suburb Monday, flattening an entire neighborhoods and destroying an elementary school with a direct blow as children and teachers huddled against winds. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

Tornado near Oklahoma City causes more damage

Rescue workers are searching for survivors after a twister carved a long path of destruction in a suburb of Oklahoma City. It was part of the...

FILE - In this undated publicity file photo, members of the Doors, from left, John Densmore, Robbie Krieger, Ray Manzarek and Jim Morrison, pose for a portrait. Manzarek, the keyboardist who was a founding member of The Doors, has died at 74. Publicist Heidi Robinson-Fitzgerald says in a news release that Manzarek died Monday, May 20, 2013, at the RoMed Clinic in Rosenheim, Germany, surrounded by his family. (AP Photo, File)

Ray Manzarek, founding member of the Doors, dies at 74

Manzarek co-founded the Doors after meeting then-poet Jim Morrison in California. The band went on to become one of the most successful rock-and-roll...

US actress Rosario Dawson smiles on May 20, 2013 as she arrives for the screening of the film 'Wara No Tate' (Shield of Straw) presented in Competition at the 66th edition of the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes. Cannes, one of the world's top film festivals, opened on May 15 and will climax on May 26 with awards selected by a jury headed this year by Hollywood legend Steven Spielberg. AFP PHOTO / ALBERTO PIZZOLIALBERTO PIZZOLI/AFP/Getty Images

Eye on entertainment

Rosario Dawson, Alec Baldwin, Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Bow Wow, Amy Poehler and more.

A man walks on sulphur and mineral salt formations near Dallol in the Danakil Depression, northern Ethiopia April 22, 2013. The Danakil Depression in Ethiopia is one of the hottest and harshest environments on earth, with an average annual temperature of 94 degrees Fahrenheit (34.4 Celsius). For centuries, merchants have travelled there with caravans of camels to collect salt from the surface of the vast desert basin. The mineral is extracted and shaped into slabs, then loaded onto the animals before being transported back across the desert so that it can be sold around the country. Picture taken April 22, 2013. REUTERS/Siegfried Modola (ETHIOPIA - Tags: BUSINESS SOCIETY TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY)

ATTENTION EDITORS: PICTURE 2 OF 30 FOR PACKAGE 'ETHIOPIA'S ANCIENT SALT TRAIL'
SEARCH 'DANAKIL DEPRESSION' FOR ALL

Ethiopia’s salt trail

For centuries, merchants have traveled to Ethiopia’s Danakil Depression with caravans of camels to collect salt from the surface of the vast desert basin. The mineral is extracted...

Back to Previous Gallery

Related Stories

Her ill husband would never be the same. She fell in love with another man. How could they find happiness, yet honor a sacred vow?

Her ill husband would never be the same. She fell in love with another man. How could they find happiness, yet honor a sacred vow?

The dark-oak farmhouse table where Page and Robert Melton spent many a dinner hour is now laden with vases and framed pictures, fragile pieces of their life together that have to be tucked into cardboard boxes. The movers are coming in the morning and, with much still to pack, Page thinks she could be looking at another all-nighter.

Q&A Transcript: Reporter, subject chatted with readers

Discussion Policy | FAQ | About Discussions

Loading...

Comments

Add your comment

Read what others are saying About Badges

SuperFan Badge

SuperFan badge holders consistently post smart, timely comments about Washington area sports and teams.

More about badges | Request a badge

Culture Connoisseur Badge

Culture Connoisseurs consistently offer thought-provoking, timely comments on the arts, lifestyle and entertainment.

More about badges | Request a badge

Fact Checker Badge

Fact Checkers contribute questions, information and facts to The Fact Checker.

More about badges | Request a badge

Washingtologist Badge

Washingtologists consistently post thought-provoking, timely comments on events, communities, and trends in the Washington area.

More about badges | Request a badge

Post Writer Badge

This commenter is a Washington Post editor, reporter or producer.

Post Forum Badge

Post Forum members consistently offer thought-provoking, timely comments on politics, national and international affairs.

More about badges | Request a badge

Weather Watcher Badge

Weather Watchers consistently offer thought-provoking, timely comments on climates and forecasts.

More about badges | Request a badge

World Watcher Badge

World Watchers consistently offer thought-provoking, timely comments on international affairs.

More about badges | Request a badge

Post Contributor Badge

This commenter is a Washington Post contributor. Post contributors aren’t staff, but may write articles or columns. In some cases, contributors are sources or experts quoted in a story.

More about badges | Request a badge

Post Recommended

Washington Post reporters or editors recommend this comment or reader post.

You must be logged in to report a comment.

Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.

All comments are posted in the All Comments tab.

More about badges

Get a badge

To pause and restart automatic updates, click "Live" or "Paused". If paused, you'll be notified of the number of additional comments that have come in.

Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.