Jewish wedding traditions adopted by non-Jewish couple

The Pezzulas, who now live in Crystal City, say their family and friends were initially puzzled by the wedding plans but came around quickly. The couple consulted books, Block, their wedding planner and Google to incorporate the symbols and traditions. Melanie also turned to a Jewish college friend, Andrea Cohen, for advice. “It was fun teaching her what the huppah symbolized, and I was touched when she said she was painting her own ketubah,” Cohen said.

Block said the Pezzulas aren’t the only non-Jewish couple he has married who have incorporated Jewish customs into their ceremony. “This is a new generation with open minds that sees no one has a monopoly on God,” he said.

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But Jonathan Stein, president of the Central Conference of American Rabbis, expressed some concerns. While the practice “speaks to the acceptances of Jews and Jewish traditions in American society,” he said, it might be offensive to Jews who believe that a wedding ceremony signifies the union of two people who intend to establish a Jewish life.”

Stein added, “People incorporate all kinds of rituals into their ceremony. . . . But the question becomes: Do you understand what you’re doing?”

“I hope we didn’t offend anyone,” Melanie said. “It just seemed like a beautiful way to celebrate a marriage.”

Traditions explained

After Melanie took her place next to Michael under the huppah, Block explained the symbolism of the canopy to the predominantly non-Jewish guests, who had also picked up brochures outlining the Jewish traditions.

“This is the home that you two are creating together,” he said. “A house is a house, but a home is a place where family and friends gather.”

Two friends came up to witness the signing of the ketubah, which bore an image of two birds together on a tree branch.

Melanie and Michael recited the vows they had written, exchanged rings and listened to Block read their adaptation of the seven blessings, which included a prayer that they be better together than apart.

At the end of the ceremony, Block placed a glass wrapped in a white cloth on the ground under the huppah. The groom would step on the glass to remind the couple and their guests that love is fragile and must be protected.

Keeping the tone light, Block said, “When the glass is broken, we shout ‘Mazel tov!’ and that means the ceremony is over and the bar is open.”

Michael paused for a second, preparing himself for the moment in the ceremony he had most looked forward to, then stomped on the glass. A resounding boom echoed throughout the hall.

The crowd jumped to its feet and cheered, shouting “Mazel tov!”

Anderson is a freelance writer.