Ethics rules can restrict members of Congress during party time

A slice of pizza? No. But a dozen cheese puffs — or even two dozen if you’re really starving — are fine.

Hamburger? No, no, no. But mini meatballs are okay.

(James M. Thresher/FOR THE WASHINGTON POST) - Tomato Cheddar Soup Shooters, would they count?

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• Ethics rules can restrict members of Congress during party time

Hot dogs? No can do, buddy. But little pigs in a blanket, served on a platter with honey mustard, are allowed.

In Washington, it’s not the calories that count, it’s whether the food and drink comply with strict ethical guidelines. Even a humble slice of pizza — when proffered by a lobbyist or influence peddler — is classified as a “meal” and, therefore, on the naughty list.

December is a minefield for members of Congress or the administration and federal employees who walk into a reception and have to ask themselves, “Is that chicken wrap compliant with 5 C.F.R. Sec. 2635 Part 203?” That would be one of the many guidelines that govern what gifts can be accepted — including what’s okay to eat and drink at a social gathering.

We’re wading in shark-filled waters, party-wise. It’s a sincere, complicated and — let’s just say it — sometimes ridiculous attempt to prevent bribes and other extravagant expressions of holiday spirit from corrupting the very core of American democracy. So tricky that a lot of politicians skip the festivities and instruct their staffers not to attend.

“Plenty don’t go to avoid the headache,” one congressional staffer confided. Even those members and lobbyists brimming with Christmas cheer wouldn’t talk on the record because . . . well, who wants to get in trouble for one chocolate peppermint martini?

The gift rule

Every December, the feds send out reminders to government workers about what gifts they are allowed to accept from whom. They are, as you might guess, a scintillating read. But skim at your own risk, for therein lies the difference between enjoying the holidays and getting a call from a congressional ethics committee, which always puts a damper on the new year.

To wit: “This subpart contains standards that prohibit an employee from soliciting or accepting any gift from a prohibited source or given because of the employee’s official position unless the item is excluded from the definition of a gift or falls within one of the exceptions set forth in this subpart.” Gifts include “any gratuity, favor, discount, entertainment, hospitality, loan, forbearance, or other item having monetary value” as well as services, training, transportation, local travel, lodgings and meals “whether provided in-kind, by purchase of a ticket, payment in advance, or reimbursement after the expense has been incurred.” They do not include “modest items of food and refreshments”— soft drinks, coffee and doughnuts — but do prohibit, for the most part, meals. Which is why pizza, the staple of dorm life, is forbidden.

Basically, it boils down to common sense: Expensive gifts from lobbyists aren’t okay. (Definition of Washington old-timer: You remember when three-martini steak lunches were allowed.) A small — under $10 — gift is usually fine, as long as it’s not a regular thing and not from someone who wants something from you.