Once again, it’s our backward-crossword challenge: We give you the filled-in grid to an actual puzzle — this one, by Bob Klahn of the CrosSynergy syndicate, ran Aug. 12 on washingtonpost.com — and you come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the grid. Yes, we noticed that there aren’t any numbers in the grid — that’s because you don’t need them, silly; just list each word along with your clue for it. The clues should be brief, but they need not be as short as for a real crossword. (By the way, this is an American crossword, not a British-style one in which the clue contains an anagram of the desired word.) Our usual limit of 25 entries per person remains in effect. See bit.ly/xwordclues1007 for a list of Bob’s original clues.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a small jar — brought back from Istanbul by Loser Mike Gips — labeled “Aprodisaique for Man and Women” and adorned with a silhouette of a very small male person with an enormous — well, something that doesn’t need any aprodisaique. (If you are under 18 or have actual taste, I’ll send you another prize instead.)
The Style Invitational
The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.
BY BOB KLAHN -- CROSSYNERGY
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Feb. 4; results published Feb. 24 (online Feb. 21). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1007” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Jonathan Hardis; the alternative headline in the “next week’s results” line is by Brad Alexander. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
Report from Week 1003
in which we asked you to take a well-known ad slogan and repurpose it for another company or organization. Some funny ideas were sent by practically everyone: “What’s in your wallet?” for Trojan condoms and for the IRS; “the quicker picker-upper” for Red Bull, for Match.com and for Viagra (also for Viagra: “You can do it. We can help” and “We bring good things to life”); “the antidote for civilization” for the NRA; “Snap! Crackle! Pop!” for the American Chiropractic Association; “Home of the Whopper” for the U.S. Capitol and for Fox News; “When you care enough to send the very best” for Navy SEAL Team 6; “Think outside the bun” and “Don’t leave home without it” for Hanes underwear; and, of course, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” for the Style Invitational. So many First Offenders this week we’ll just mark them with asterisks.
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
Find Your Own Road (Saab) for the D.C. snow removal office.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)