Style Invitational Week 1009: What’s in a name, plus the winning super- (and not-so-super-) heroes

Not so cape-able: honorable mentions

Alablaster: The world’s most powerful PR agent, he can whitewash even a Lindsay Lohan-caliber screw-up. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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The cane toad coin purse, this week’s second prize: It’s our second coin purse made from an Australian animal; the first was from a kangaroo scrotum.

A special honorable mention for this entry by Scott Shields, 7, of Falls Church, Va. Scott clearly has a future in the Style Invitational.

The Amazing Shlärftäg has the power to put together Ikea furniture in a single attempt without losing any pieces. (Steve Goldsmith, Springfield, Va., a First Offender)

Wonkella: She swoops down to identify, frame and analyze public policy problems and create solutions that are always Pareto-optimal and that square values with perfect reflective equilibrium! (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

The Peequalizer: Magically changes stadium men’s rooms to ladies’ rooms when the lines are ridiculously disproportionate. (Dottie Gray, Alexandria, Va., a First Offender)

The Trumpeter: Able to (1) blow his own horn, (2) start tall buildings with a single check and (3) stop traffic with his hair. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

Bleeperman: Faster than a speeding bull---t! (Larry Yungk, Arlington, Va.)

The DeweyDecimalators: Five battle-hardened, cynical librarians known as the Order of the Shelves guard the Houses of Knowledge against the sons and daughters of Chaos. (Lawrence McGuire)

Mag Neat-o: Can remove the shipping label from a publication without ruining the cover! (Dion Black, Washington)

The Scarlet Taper: He rescues government servants from the curses of efficiency and effectiveness. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

The Flesh: His body transforms simple carbohydrates to harness the awesome force of gravity, powering his struggle to free South Beach from the nefarious Dr. Atkins and his sinister Glycemic Index. (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

Eneman: Fleet of, well, ’tain’t feet. (Christopher Larsen, Richmond, Calif.)

SuperScalper: Has the magical ability to get more than face value for Wizards tickets. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

The Applicator: Able to administer an entire dose of hemorrhoid cream into the “affected area” without smearing. (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

COMMAndo: Assuring life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness by adding serial commas to all sentences lacking them. Then he’ll smile, wave to his fans, and fly off into the vasty blue. (John Shea, Philadelphia)

Irony Man: His Snarc-Reactor-powered suit enables him to effortlessly combat the forces of evil, as soon as he’s finished watching this episode of “Portlandia.” (Andrew Heyman, Chicago, a First Offender)

Miss D’Opportunity: Whispers perfect ripostes in the ears of the just-dissed — too late, of course. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

Hit and Missus: A crime-fighting couple able to defeat a few bad guys occasionally. (Konrad Schwoerke, Chapel Hill, N.C.)

Aqua Velva Man: Lives in the ocean and hangs out with fish because women don’t want anything to do with him. (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)

Karma Man: Comes around and bites you in the butt. (Christopher Larsen)

The Prim Reaper: She doesn’t look life-threatening, but . . . (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.)

Impotento: Don’t even try to [mess] with him! (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Mr. Who: Mysterious adventurer who travels through time saving civilizations and correcting cosmic imbalances, but is still working on his dissertation. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

Reply-All Man: Able to infuriate dozens with the press of a single finger. (John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)

Wonder Womb-Man: Has the unfailing ability to spot a woman who happens to have a bit of belly fat, and then ask her “So, when are you due?” (Dion Black)

Yoda Berra: Stymies evildoers by speaking in twisted syntax AND twisted logic: “Over not is it over is it until.” (Gary Crockett)

Scantily Clad Woman: Who cares what her powers are? Just buy the comic, fanboy. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Yo-Mama: She doesn’t have any superpowers, but she’s had all the superheroes. (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)

Supermensch: No powers, to be honest; just a really nice guy. Criminals just give up to be in his company. (Larry Gray)

Visit the online discussion group The Style Conversational, in which the Empress discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.

Next week’s results: Clue Us In, or Cross Your Har, our Week 1007 backward-crossword contest, in which we gave you a filled-in grid and you got to come up with creative clues.

Still running — deadline Monday night — is our contest to rearrange the words in a movie title. See bit.ly/invite1008.