The Style Invitational
The Style Invitational
By the Empress

Style Invitational Week 1020: Rerun for the roses: use winning ‘foals’ to make ‘grandfoals’

Bob Staake for the Washington Post

To the utter astonishment of absolutely no one, our 19th annual contest to “breed” the names of two Triple Crown-nominated horses and name the “foal” once again drew many thousands of entries, including hundreds of clever ones, of which several dozen get ink here. (If you are certain that your own un-inking entry was superior to those appearing today, rest assured that the Empress omitted it only because she doesn’t like that irritating smirk of yours.)

And once again, as we’ve been doing for a decade, we invite you back into the breeding shed: This week: “Breed” any two of this week’s winning foals and name the “grandfoal.” As always, the name may not exceed 18 characters including punctuation and spaces. In some past years, we let you breed a foal with another parent, but I think this year’s younger generation gives us enough to work with. Be sure to spell those horses correctly in your entry, or else it might be overlooked as I search for each name electronically.

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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(Pat Myers) - How Loserly to win a second-place mug that’s greatly inferior to the third-place mug. But if the Empress can give it to you in person, she’ll throw in a hug.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Lincoln-statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the so-appropriate ceramic mug pictured at left (though “Mug a loser” would have been a better line). Donated by the huggable Loser Marleen May.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 13; results published June 2 (online May 30). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1020” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp, as is the alternative headline in the “Next week’s results” line. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Still running — deadline is Monday night — is our contest about what to do during Screen-Free Week. See bit.ly/invite1019.

Report from Week 1016

this year’s installment of our perennial contest in which we post a list of 100 horses eligible for this year’s Triple Crown races and ask you to “breed” them and name the “foal.” Among the more than 400 entrants — each sending up to 25 entries apiece — several people bred Amerigo Vespucci with Will Take Charge to produce Discover Card; Caviar Dreams with War Academy to make Sturgeon General; and Hear the Ghost with Hard to Name for the foal Boo Who. Hard to Name was also bred with My Name Is Michael to produce various horses named That Ain’t So Hard, Problem Solved, etc. — several of them from people named Michael.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

The Candidate x Normandy Invasion = Am Fibbyous (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

2. Winner of the book “Political Babble: The 1,000 Dumbest Things Ever Said by Politicians”: Perfect Set x Departing = Ta-ta! (Brad Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)

3. Triple Cross x Goldencents = Deceit o’the Pence (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

4. Mineworks x Now and Then = I’m Turning 50 (Andrew Ballard, London; Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

Unstable mates: honorable mentions

Revolutionary x Power Broker = Che P. Morgan (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Abraham x Beholder = Abie Sees (May Jampathom, Oakhurst, N.J.)

Abraham x Uncaptured = Missing Linc (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

Unlimited Budget x Amerigo Vespucci = Afford Explorer (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)

Black Onyx x Dreaming of Julia = Rock ’n’ Raul (Joe Dziublenski, Cedar Grove, N.J., a First Offender)

Power Broker x Bench Press = ElevatingDumbbells (Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.)

Amerigo Vespucci x Orb = Amerigo-Round (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.)

Always Curious x Little Distorted = I Askew Again (Jan Brandstetter, Mechanicsville, Md.)

Transparent x Are You Kidding Me = Sheerly You Jest (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Verrazano x Back Off Buddy = Staten Inhibitor (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Bench Press x Beholder = Weight and See (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.; Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Glowing Ember x Best Play = Burning Sensation (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)

Carving x Mudflats = Muck the Knife (Steve Honley, Washington)

Caviar Dreams x Normandy Invasion = Roe Roe Roe U-Boat (Gary Lefkowitz, Springfield, Va.; Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)

Perfect Set x Carving = Cleavage (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Perfect Set x Curly Top = Two and ’Fro (Laurie Brink)

Know More x Declassify = I’ve Got News FOIA (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

Departing x Liberal Spin = MSNBC Ya (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.; Steve Honley)

Texas Bling x Departing = Ex’s Bling (Danielle Nowlin, Woodbridge, Va.)

Goldencents x Departing = A Penny Urned (Ras-I Ehl, Bear, Del., a First Offender)

War Academy x Distiller = West Pint (Lisa Henderson, Chevy Chase, Md., a First Offender)

War Academy x Unlimited Budget = Waste Point (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

War Academy x Really Sharp = West Pointy (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Standup Paddle x Really Sharp = Raise Oar Blade (Trent Galbraith, Enfield, Nova Scotia) (Trent was originally misidentified as a First Offender; he actually got his first ink in Week 1003)

Distiller x Hard to Name = Mountain Doohickey (Dudley Thompson)

Malibu High x Overanalyze = Big Bong Theory (C.W. Johnson, Arlington, Va., a First Offender)

Distiller x Undrafted = Ferment& Deferment (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

Palace Malice x Distiller = MaryQueenOfScotch (Rick Haynes)

Hear the Ghost x Fear the Kitten = Mrs. Mewer (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

Now and Then x Python = Intermittent Viper (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Giant Finish x Persuasive Paul = Rand Finale (Chris Doyle)

Transparent x Glowing Ember = Pane in the Ash (Larry Gray)

Song to You x Normandy Invasion = Those Were D-Days (Russell Beland, Fairfax, Va.)

Hard to Name x Normandy Invasion = B-Day? C-Day? (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

The Candidate x Hear the Ghost = Political Seance (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)

Texas Bling x He’s Had Enough = RememberTheAlimony (William Stutzman, Millersburg, Ohio)

Tiz a Minister x Unlimited Budget = Collared Green (Eric Kephart, Herndon, Va., a First Offender)

Java’s War x Weewinnin = Bladder Losin (John Kustka, Prince Frederick, Md.)

Way Best x Java’s War = Summa Cum Latte (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

Kid Twist x Silent Admirer = Storquer (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Leaving Trax x Revolutionary = Needle Marx (Ben Aronin, Arlington, Va.)

Caviar Dreams x Liberal Spin = Hors D’ervish (Dudley Thompson)

Normandy Invasion x Transparent = I See France (Catherine Hagman, Silver Spring)

Orb x Uncaptured = Round Yon Virgin (Steve Price, New York)

Online Poker x Taken by the Storm = Ante Em! (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)

Online Poker x Unlimited Budget = Unlimited Losses (Michael Sikorski, Rockville, Md.)

Online Poker x The Candidate = Weiner Returns (Mark Eckenwiler)

Power Broker x Orb = Chris Christie (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)

Persuasive Paul x Third Choice = Rand, Ron or Ru? (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

Triple Cross x Silent Admirer = Calvary Coolidge (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

Verrazano x Little Distorted = Abridged (Elizabeth Kline, Frederick, Md.)

Mylute x Onlinepoker = Plucked Clean (Joy Sibley, Fairfax, Va., a First Offender)

Mylute x The Candidate = Baroque Obama (Kathy Hardis Fraeman)

Dreaming of Julia x Mr Palmer = Harry Palmer (Josh Feldblyum, Philadelphia)

Weewinnin x Goldencents = Urine the Money (Jeff Contompasis)

Incognito x Java’s War = Secret Asian Man (Laurie Brink)

Kid Twist x Undrafted = Artful Dodger (Janet Griffin, Tampa, a First Offender)

Just Win Baby x Overanalyze = Run for Neuroses (Mark Eckenwiler)

Texas Bling x Caviar Dreams = Austintatious (Dudley Thompson; Chris Doyle)

Online Poker x Just Win Baby = Or Just Adopt (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

Perfect Set x Segovia = Ursula Andres (Mark Eckenwiler)

Uncaptured x Looking Cool = Free Brrr (Laurie Brink)

Texas Bling x Fear the Kitten = Diamond Ringworm (Erika Hoffeld, Silver Spring, Md.)

Looking Cool x Song to You = Smooth Operetta (Malcolm Fleschner)

My Name Is Michael x Purple Egg = Sam I Ain’t (Mike Gips)

See the Empress’s online column The Style Conversational (posted late Thursday afternoon), in which she discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.

Next week’s results: Vowel Play, or Same O, Same O, our Week 1017 contest to write a newspaper headline in which only one vowel is used throughout.

 
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