If you failed to embarrass yourself over the past year with ink in one of our previous contests — or if you couldn’t manage even that — here’s another chance.
This week: Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through Week 945 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). You can send multiple entries for a single contest, as long as you don’t send more than 25 entries in all. You may refer to events that have occurred since the contest was published; for contests that ask you to use The Post from a certain day or week, use today’s or this week’s. (For the “Dead Letters” of Week 901, the poems should still be about people who died in 2010, not 2011; the Week 898 predictions should be about 2012.) Since there’s so little space in the print paper, longer-form entries are likely to run only online. You can find links to all the contests at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational (note that there’s a single link to a page of other links for Weeks 891-915, and that they’re listed first).
The Style Invitational
The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the book “Thank You for the Giant Sea Tortoise,” a 1971 compilation of entries from the New York Magazine Competition, which the Style Invitational was created to “honor.” The Empress was shocked, but not saddened, to discover that many of the entries were, well, lame-o (e.g., recast a movie: “Royal Wedding” with Alan King, Steve McQueen and Patty Duke). Donated by Terry Reimer.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to email@example.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Dec. 12; results published Jan. 1 (Dec. 30 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 948” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week is by Chris Doyle; this week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by Tom Witte.
Report from Week 944
in which we asked you to finish an “Is it just me . . .” sentence. There were two basic categories of just-mes: the self-effacing entries saying, “I’m so pathetic/clueless/nerdy/weird” and those that served as an excuse for snarky observational humor. We got good entries in both categories. And many people wrote in: “Or is it just I?” Each of them wins a one-year subscription to Pedantic Monthly.
The winner of the Inker
Is it just me, or do you also think Texans must have had to sign a pledge to reinforce their stereotype when they’re in public? (Neal Starkman, Seattle, a First Offender)
Winner of the lobster-tank fart-joke mug: Is it just me, or are more women becoming immune to charisma? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.)
3. Is it just me, or does anyone else find it hypocritical that Certain Media Outlets won’t cover third-party candidates who have zero chance of winning — but still continue to cover the Baltimore Orioles? (Gregory Koch, Poughkeepsie, N.Y.)