Style Invitational Week 952: Dead Letters — write us an obit poem

Osama bin Laden has passed away, been taken by his Lord,
Shuffled off this mortal coil, fallen on his sword,
Moved to otherworldly realms . . . Wait, this doesn’t work.

Niceties need not apply! He’s dead — good riddance, jerk.

With the happy New Year, we pause a moment in solemn reflection on those whose lives were lost last year, and then we turn to the Style Invitational so we can write funny verses about them. In our ninth annual Dead Letters contest: Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011, as in the example above by Washington Post Poet in Residence (though some among the unenlightened think of him as the Po’ Wit in Residence) Gene Weingarten. It doesn’t have to rhyme, but it should be amusing. Short verses are more likely to get ink in the print paper, but the best longer poems will be published in the online Invite. Song parodies are permitted. You can find lists of “notable deaths 2011,” etc., online.

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a teeny-tiny electronic device called the Annoy-a-tron. You stash it somewhere and turn it on, and it emits a short beep . . . every few minutes. Donated by Loser Kevin Dopart, who annoys us every, well, less often than that.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 9; results published Jan. 29 (Jan. 27 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 952” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week is by Beverley Sharp; the subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Chris Doyle. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 948

in which you were invited to enter any of the previous year’s Invitational contests, with possible updating of the subject matter. A number of space-consuming entries appear in the online Invite at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.

The winner of the Inker

For Week 927, Burma Shave-style highway signs:
Pi k a targ t
Lo d our g n;
Us  our bu lets,
Ha e som fu .
W nch ster. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)

2. Winner of the book of entries from old New York Magazine Competitions: For Week 898, predictions for next year (for this week’s contest, we used 2012):
Oct. 4, 2012: In a feeble “Wag the Dog” attempt, Obama invades Uzbeki-beki-bekistan. (David Genser, Poway, Calif.

3. From Week 910, slightly alter an ad slogan to be used for someone else:
Redskins quarterback Rex Grossman: Takes a sacking and keeps on lacking. (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

4. Week 893, 25-word stories: “I have some distressing news,” said Dr. Stone. “During your last exam, I found a lump in your breast.” Sally frowned. “But . . . you’re my dentist.” (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)