Style Invitational Week 965: Foaling Around — our famous ‘breed’-the-horses contest

Gemologist x Verne = Jewels

Harvard N Yale x Isn’t He Clever = Ivy Drip

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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Finnegans Wake x Plated = Impenetrable

It’s April, and even fools (er, especially fools) know that’s when the Losers play the ponies each year in one of our most popular and enduring contests. Below this week’s results is a list of 100 of the 3-year-old horses eligible (as of press time) to run in this year’s Triple Crown races. “Breed” any two of the horses and name their foal, as in the examples above. (Click here for a version of the list that’s easier to print out.) It matters not at all that virtually all the horses are male. As in the real racing world, the name must not exceed 18 characters including spaces and punctuation. Remember, there’s now a 25-entry limit, a modification that has turned the Empress almost semi-sane these recent years; in the Olden Days, some people would send as many as 600 entries. Especially this week, be sure to double-space your entries; it’s really hard to read long lists of single-spaced ones. Make sure you spell the horses’ names correctly, because I use the search function as I look at the entries for each horse on the list, and I sure don’t want to miss your brilliance.

Winner gets the Inker or possibly another Style Invitational trophy (to be determined) if we can’t replenish our supply. Second place receives a fine set of fake mustaches: the Mario, the Dali, the Magnum, the Hogan, the Chaplin and the Einstein (wearing more than one at a time is not advised). Donated by Craig Dykstra.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the brand-new, yet-to-be-designed but surely hotly desired Grossery Bag, a lightweight tote. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 9; results published April 29, the Sunday before Derby Day (they’ll be posted online April 27). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 965” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week’s results is by Judy Blanchard; the subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Roy Ashley. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 961

in which we asked you to write anti-rhopalic passages — in which all words had the same number of letters (hyphenated compound words could count as either one word or two):

The winner of the Inker

Mitt Rues Road Trip From Hell

Mitt, wife, five sons. Mutt, cage, auto roof. Long ride, much wind. Poop drip. Woof! Tagg: “Yuck, stop!” ARCO sign. Pull over. Whoa, real mess! Hose down auto rear, mutt. Pull back onto road. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

2. Winner of the little bags of “Democrap Donkey Dung” and “Repooplican Elephant Dung” (really chocolate-coated peanuts): Rick says gays’ vows will mean four-ways, dogs with cats, hand cart into Hell. . . . Jeez, Rick, calm down, take your meds. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)