Winner gets the new Style Invitational trophy, the Inkin’ Memorial, an exceedingly dignified Lincoln Memorial-statue bobblehead. Second place receives a little tin of the world’s most tightly folded Uh Oh . . . Emergency Underpants (“Always ready to use!”), donated — unused — by Amanda Yanovitch. Britney Spears is under court order to carry these at all times.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the brand-new, yet-to-be-designed but surely hotly desired Grossery Bag, a lightweight tote. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to firstname.lastname@example.org or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 16; results published May 6 (online May 4). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 966” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Judy Blanchard; the alternate “next week” headline is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.
Report from Week 962
our perennial contest in which we asked you to choose a sentence appearing in The Post that week and to write a question that it might be the answer to: Fabulous results as usual; there were many more fine ones than could fit on a single reasonable list.
The winner of the Inker
A. “We’re working our way happily and steadily through the process of production.”
Q. What did the mechanical engineer reply when his mother-in-law said, “We hope you’ll soon make us proud grandparents”?
(Cathy Lamaze, North Potomac, Md.)
Winner of the personal journal made of cow-dung paper:
A. “I support it.”
Q. Senator, are you a cat or a dog person? (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)
A. “Your family gives you, hopefully, roots and wings.”
What was the opening diary entry of a Donner Party pioneer? (Sue Lin Chong, Baltimore)
A. But please, don’t mess with the kebabs.
Q. In the Beirut airport security line, what’s the equivalent saying of “Don’t touch my junk”? (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
Q & Eh: Honorable mentions
A. It happened more than a quarter-century ago, at the start of a Romney family summer vacation.
Q. When is the last time anyone saw Mitt’s hair move? (Mark Richardson, Washington)