Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a toilet handle with a battery-operated night light built into it. Because it’s really hard to guess where the handle of a toilet is. Donated by Andrea Kelly.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the new, ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 4; results published June 24 (online June 22). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 973” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp; the alternative headline in the “Next week” line is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at
Report from Week 969
our seventh annual “grandfoals” contest. As in previous years, this week’s grandfoal names didn’t usually take into account every element of the parents’ names, since those names were often puns already.
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
Myth Congeniality x Paul Bunion = Sandra Bull Ox (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)
Winner of the jewelry-holder figurine who has snaking wires where her head should be: Forest Grump x Do Wit Yourself = Surly, You Jest (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
3. Kneel Diamond x Fairway to Heaven = I’m a Bereaver (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)
4. G. Queue x 20,000 Leaks = G. Whiz (John Winant, Bellevue, Neb.)
The beaten track: Honorable mentions
Iraqnid x SAT on a Tuffet = Kurds Is to Whey (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)
Matzo Ballistic x Fairway to Heaven = Let My People Golf (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
A Perfect X x Two Dollar Hose = Bo L’eggs (George-Ann Rosenberg, Washington)
Deep Throat x Amish Stripper = Hoarse and Buggy (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)