Style Invitational Week 976: Join now — it’s our build-a-neologism contest

Lap-do: One way to deal with a hairy belly.

Here’s a neologism contest we used to run all the time but haven’t done in years. It used to be called “Hyphen the Terrible,” back before millions of people started reading The Post online, where lines don’t end in hyphens. This is the 21st-century version. This week: Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week’s Style Invitational and Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it, as in the example above, which combines parts of “lapse” and “outdo.” Each part must have at least two letters including a vowel; you may use the ending of a word as your beginning and vice versa, but not two ends or two beginnings. The Conversational will be online by June 15 at wapo.st/conv976.

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins the charming “Pat the Politician,” a 2004 parody of the baby touch-book “Pat the Bunny”; in this one, you can pull Nixon’s nose, read Bush’s lips and touch Clinton’s underpants. Donated by Roy Ashley.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt (we’re phasing these out), a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 25; results published July 15 (online July 13). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 976” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Kevin Dopart; the alternative headline in the “Next week” line is by Jeff Contompasis.. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 972

in which we listed 16 “trending topics” from a few weeks ago and asked you to explain how any two were alike or different: Many Losers noted that both Michael Phelps and John Edwards were associated with the breast stroke.

The winner of the Inkin’
Memorial

Michael Phelps and Bristol Palin: Each got into trouble after doing some dope. (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)

2. Winner of the papier-mache surfing skeleton:
John Edwards and Serena Williams: Both play a game in which love means nothing. (Edward Gordon, Austin)

3. Beethoven: Roll over. John Edwards: Heel. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

4. “Desperate Housewives” has a cast of many good-looking, complicated, disturbed, egotistical characters who cheat, lie and cover up lies. John Edwards: Cast of one. (Janice Haas, Bethesda, Md., a First Offender)

Subordinate conjunctions: Honorable mentions

Michael Phelps can outdo any guy in the pool, while the Desperate Housewives are out to do any guy in the pool. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Beethoven, stone deaf, created serious music; Howard Stern, tone deaf, creates Sirius mucus. (Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)