Style Invitational Week 977: Fun with Google Translate, 8 years later

Original: I keep my food fresh with preservatives.

Translated into French and then back to English:

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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2004 result: I preserve my fresh food with condoms.

2012 result: I keep my food fresh with conservatives.

In 2004, a few months into her reign, the Empress put up a contest that got what might have been our largest response ever: Contestants had to choose some passage of text and translate it into one of five languages with Google’s translating tool — then enter that foreign-language result through the same tool, and ask it to be translated into English. The results were hilariously incompetent; “linguists, you won’t soon be replaced by a machine,” the E predicted.
Eight years later, Google Translate (translate.google.com) does a far, far better job; many of the passages used in the 2004 contest translate back and forth without a hitch now. But there are many more languages to try — 60, from Afrikaans to Yiddish — and as you can see from the example above, there’s still room for comical error. So: This week: Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. Show us both the original and the final lines, of course, and tell us the language(s) you used. (You don’t have to show us the line in the foreign language.) If I can’t duplicate the process, I won’t run your entry.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a ceramic mug evidently designed to hold dairy beverages, given that it features a three-dimensional voluptuous, perky, tan-lined human, er, udder. Donated by Nan Reiner.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt (we’re phasing these out), a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 2; results published July 22 (online July 20). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 977” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Mae Scanlan; the alternative headline in the “Next Week” line is by Edward Gordon. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 973

our first shot at a third “Triple Crown” foal name contest, in which entrants could “breed” only the horses that didn’t get ink in the first contest, plus horses that ran in the actual races but weren’t on our first list. For a field of just a couple of dozen horses instead of the initial 100, a fine run indeed.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

Castaway x Full Cry = Jonah and the Wail (Kevin Dopart, Washington)