New contest: Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s), as in the examples above — each of which gets an honorable mention for Week 985, whose results we run today. In that contest, we published these five typically weird cartoons created by our go-to maniacal genius Bob Staake, and asked you to tell us what Style Invitational contest any of them might be illustrating — either an actual previous contest or one you made up. Perennial Losers Gary and Lawrence sent in pretty much the same contest idea, which the Empress found highly promising, though neither of their entries for it wins more than a magnet. (We don’t want the contest examples to be unmatchably good, anyway.) Maybe they’ll do better next time.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a charmingly highbrow practical-joke device called Talking Toilet, which you install under the seat; when someone sits down, the box starts shouting things like “Hey, I’m working down here!” Donated by Nan Reiner.
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 1; results published Oct. 21 (online Oct. 18). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 989” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp; the alternative headline in the “Next week’s results” line is by Jeff Contompasis. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
Report from Week 985
in which we asked you to name a real or imagined Style Invitational contest that any of these cartoons could illustrate:
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
plus a copy of today’s Invitational autographed and dedicated by Bob Staake himself: Week 982, song parody including one line from the original:
Picture E: To “Fugue for Tinhorns” from “Guys and Dolls”:
I’ve got the horse right here,
He’s in the bathtub, dear,
But all the lights went out, and he’s toast, I fear.
Boo hoo, I’m blue;
The horse blew a fuse, it’s true;
It looks like the horse is through;
(The toaster, too.) (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
2. Winner of another Bobographed page plus a tin of Zombie Mints: Picture A: New contest: Change a rule for a well-known game to reflect today’s society: If you are playing the banker in Monopoly and are about to go bankrupt, you get to keep picking cards from the Community Chest until you are solvent. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)