Style Invitational Week 990: Indecent relations — jokes about two people with the same last name

Woodrow and Brian Wilson: They’d sing: “I’m starting a League of Nations, it’s giving me excitations . . .”

James Brown scored with hit after hit, while Charlie Brown couldn’t get in a single kick.

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

Archive

• Style Conversational
• E-mail

(Photo by Nan Reiner) - The Porkin’ Pigs piggy banks, this week’s second-place prize, weren’t intended to be set up face to face. Think of it as foreplay.

Back in Week 963 this past spring — a contest for “portmanteau names,” in which the last name of one person overlapped with the first name of another — Loser in Exile Christopher Lamora of Guatemala City suggested a variant: Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they’re alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy) as a pair, as in the examples above.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the tasteful Porkin’ Pigs Bank, a pair of ceramic piggy banks that are pictured here in a more decorous arrangement than their intended placement (you’ll have to use your imagination). Donated by 91-time Loser Nan Reiner.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 8; results published Oct. 28 (online Oct. 25). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 990” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 986

in which we asked for humor based on homophones — different words that sound alike: Homophones tend to be the basis for groaner puns, so . . .

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

“I can’t believe my dad told our Vietnamese neighbor he’d improved on her soup recipe . . . Oh, hi! We were just talking about your pho, Pa!” (Mark Richardson, Washington)

2. Winner of the catapulting Superfly Monkey: In his résumé, the zoo vet claimed experience delivering litters of tigers, leopards, jaguars . . . but really he was just a lioness OB. (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

3. “I heard there’s a new reality show about desperate couples who turn to in vitro fertilization.” “Yes, it’s called ‘Extreme Make-Ova.’ ” (Steve Honley, Washington)

4. Your observations were most inciteful, Congressman Akin. (Andy Bassett, New Plymouth, New Zealand) [Yup, Akin’s comment was the cheap shot heard round the world.]

Razing the bar: honorable mentions

What’s the not-quite-American dish that’s trendy right now at Paris bistros? It’s the Filly Cheesesteak. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

Say what you will about the televangelist’s “powers,” but he sure is able to make his followers heel. (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

How does the commercial go for that new Puerto Rican restaurant on 115th Street? “There is arroz in Spanish Harlem . . .“ (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)