Every week since she deposed the Czar in 2004, the Empress has been sending out our lusted-after prize magnets to a couple dozen honorable-mention Losers. (One to a person, that is — do you think we’re made of money? These babies can run as much as two bits apiece.) Since they replaced the Czarist-era bumper stickers, we’ve had more than a dozen designs, all of them created by the More Famous and More Full of Himself by the Day Bob Staake, and featuring Loser-contributed slogans; some of the slogans stress the also-ran nature of being a Loser, while others play on the Invitational in general.
Anyway, our current supply is running out, and it’s time to order up another year’s worth. This week: Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. Bob will draw it, so you don’t need to design or draw anything. You can suggest just the text and Bob will illustrate, or suggest a visual idea as well. The magnet is only the size of a business card (2 by 3.5 inches), and so a short slogan and simple idea work best. Click through the pictures above to see six of the magnets; here’s a photo of seven more. You may resubmit your own unsuccessful submission from any of our previous prize-slogan contests (by unsuccessful, we mean that it wasn’t used on a prize; it’s still eligible if it got ink).
The Style Invitational
The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.
Archive
Winner gets — along with the magnet with the winning slogan — the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the other magnet we’ll be using, plus a fantasy sci-fi romance novel that its donor, Incredibly Longtime Loser Tom Witte, vows is “the best book ever written.” Sample passage from the paperback: “ ‘Look,’ he said, ‘the sun is beginning to set. It will soon be nightfall.’ She marveled at his wisdom and was in awe of his manhood.” The novel is by Tom’s mother-in-law.
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get, of course, a Loser magnet, either a new one or one from the old batch. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
losers@washpost.com
or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Nov. 5; results published Nov. 25 (online probably Nov. 23). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 994” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp; the alternative headline in the “Next week’s results” line is by Dixon Wragg. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
on.fb.me/invdev.
Report from Week 990
in which we asked for jokes about any two people with the same last name (or names pronounced the same): The links on the names are there not just to identify them — don’t write in about the insult to your intelligence — but sometimes offer a little perspective on the jokes; for example, the link on Lil Wayne’s name goes to a sample of his poetry.
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