Style Invitational Week 996: A Life-Time opportunity — combine two magazines

Combine Gourmet and Cat Fancy magazines: How to prepare the finest meal Tabby will never eat.

The Style Invitational

The Style Invitational is The Post’s weekly humor/wordplay contest, serving up since 1993 an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow -- haughty and potty -- in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies. A new contest appears at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational every Friday.

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(Pat Myers/The Washington Post) - Rats, you lose again: This week’s second-place prize.

Back in Week 985, we published five typically zany cartoons by the Nothing if Not Zany Bob Staake and asked the Losers to tell us which Invitational contest — an actual one or a new idea — it might be illustrating. One honorable mention went to Megaloser Kevin Dopart for his example for the the cartoon above. So let’s not let Kevin’s idea go to waste: This week: Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a fabulous foam-rubber life-size black rat on a ceramic wheel, brought back from Mexico by Beverley Sharp and donated to the Invite. You pull the string and release, and then La Rata rolls leisurely across the floor. See a video of the Empress’s cat being decidedly unimpressed by this fine specimen of rodentia at bit.ly/InviteRat.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, possibly the new model whose slogan will be determined in the Week 994 contest. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Nov. 19; results published Dec. 9 (online Dec. 6). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 996” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Brad Alexander; the alternative headline in the “Next week” line is by Tom Witte. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 992

in which we asked — in the wake of Mitt Romney’s debate vow that his administration wouldn’t fund PBS — how the network, its shows and its characters would adapt to the commercial TV world. This rushed-into-print contest stepped awfully close to Week 959 (moving shows from one network to another), and really, there’s not much on PBS that’s not comparable to something on cable or the broadcast networks. But the Losers soldiered valiantly on; here are the successes. And we’ll fill out the page with some Invite classics from some better-thought-out contests on screen themes.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

“The Civil War” will be remade with two different endings, depending on the part of the country you live in. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)

2. Winner of the seat cushion lined with genuine shredded U.S. currency:The Teletubbies would be used as punching bags on pay-per-view channels when the boxers warm up before a fight. People would pony up an extra $9.99 just to see this. (Gregory Koch, Storrs, Conn.)

3. “Sesame Street” would be produced by the Children’s Television Sweatshop. (Alan Hochbaum, Marietta, Ga.)