Style Invitational Week 999: A drectrospective — enter any of the year’s contests

As David Petraeus became progressively more reckless in his e-mails to his biographer, how were his messages conveyed? (Sue Lin Chong, Baltimore)

Mel Gibson can spout insults involving female private parts in which languages? (Kevin Dopart)

Who were the Three Mouthketeers? (Bill McMahon, Ganges, B.C.)

THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON
During what event does the average traffic speed in D.C. increase from 2 mph to 6 mph? (Mike Gips)

Which D.C.-centered race this year did conservatives correctly predict that the Kenyan wouldn’t win? (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)

What is the only Pentagon program that does not have an overrun? (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

What do the hookers in Quantico do every Saturday night? (Nan Reiner)

What is 500 feet shorter than the line to vote in Prince William County? (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

What endurance race should never be referred to as the “Jaunty Jarhead Jiffy Jog?” (Dudley Thompson)

THE APPLE CORE MARATHON
What could you call the daily commute to Midtown Manhattan? (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)

What institution was born when Adam and Eve started running around looking for fig leaves? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

What device is slower, less sophisticated and yet inexplicably more popular than the Samsung Core Marathon? (Mark Raffman)

In which sporting event are the athletes allowed to be juiced? (Robert Schechter)

Still running — deadline Monday night — is Week 998, the contest for “dumb laws.” See bit.ly/inv998.

Visit the online discussion group The Style Conversational, in which the Empress discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.

Next week’s results: A Life-Time Opportunity, or Zines From a Marriage, our contest to combine two magazines and describe the result.