Still running — deadline Monday night — is the Week 1025 contest, in which we’re seeking original backronyms: words that you pretend are acronyms and say what appropriate phrase the word’s letters “stand for.” See bit.ly/invite1025.
This week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by Danielle Nowlin; the alternative headline in the “Next week’s results” line is by Tom Witte.
Report from Week 1022
our perennial contest in which we supply a list of random objects and ask you to tell us how any two of them are alike or different: Funny but suggested too often was for the overactive bladder and the house-size sinkhole: Having the former makes you want the latter. One reason the Empress loves this contest is that she knows the jokes couldn’t have been used somewhere before.
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
The difference between a 23-year-old Geo Prizm and a vacation in Pyongyang: If you find yourself with a 23-year-old Geo Prizm, you chose the wrong career. If you find yourself on a vacation in Pyongyang, you chose the wrong Korea. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
Winner of the giant whoopee cushion (one of this week’s categories):
The National Zucchini Fair vs. the Rolling Stones: One is a celebration of phallic vegetables. The other is a gardening event. (Ellen Ryan, Rockville, Md.)
A 23-year-old Geo Prizm vs. a giant whoopee cushion: They’re both old jokes, but the gas goes into the Prizm. (Dan O’Day, Alexandria, Va.)
The Rolling Stones vs. a vacation in Pyongyang: In the latter, you can’t ever get what you want. (Andy Bassett, New Plymouth, New Zealand)
Slightly im-paired: honorable mentions
A solar-powered butter churn vs. a 23-year-old Geo Prizm: The Amish would consider the churn too modern. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)
A solar-powered butter churn vs. a 23-year-old Geo Prizm: While both have about the same horsepower, the butter churn is more of a chick magnet. (Michael Greene, Alexandria, Va.)
A solar-powered butter churn and a rash in the shape of Lake Huron: Both require lots of cream, and neither one is going to make your rear-end look attractive. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
A solar-powered butter churn is not like a vacation in Pyongyang, but you had better bring one along if you want butter. (Ken Gallant, Conway, Ark.)
A vacation in Pyongyang and a solar-powered butter churn are different because you can take that vacation in Pyongyang and shove it where the sun don’t shine. (Frances Hirai-Clark, Columbia, Md.)