Like other mothers, Jen Kilmer makes sure all her children are accounted for before pulling away in the car. Her routine begins with a cheer:
Mom: “Are we ready?”
Kids: “Yes, we are!”
Mom: “Kilmer family . . .”
All: “Rah, rah, rah!”
Then the roll call begins: Christina (“Here!”), Joe (“Here!”), Michelle (“Here!”), Julie (“Here!”), Tommy (“Here!”), Steven (“Here!”), Matthew (“Here!”), John Paul (“Here!”), Larry (“Here!”), Rosemary (“Here!”), Peter (with help from older siblings, “Here!”).
Yep, Jen Kilmer has 11 children. They range in age from 12 to 1. No twins or triplets, but six sets of children born less than a year apart.
With the average U.S. family household having less than one child, according to the 2010 Census, the Kilmer family is clearly an anomaly. And the family’s day-to-day life is one many of us would find unmanageable.
Yet Jen, 45, a stay-at-home mom, and husband Larry, 53, a high school teacher, make it work. And despite years of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, the Rockville family says they’re having fun.
“We’re laughing a lot,” says Jen. “And within minutes, we can have a family soccer game. Not many families can say that.”
Not many families can say they need a 15-passenger van to go places together either. Or that they get mistaken for a day-care group when they go to a restaurant. Or that they go through two gallons of milk and two loaves of bread each day. Or that they spent six years with four children simultaneously in diapers.
Despite the high potential for pandemonium, the Kilmer household is orderly and unchaotic. Beds are made, clothes are folded and the children help around the house.
There is no secret formula to their success, says Jen (and aside from an occasional hand from in-laws, no outside child-care help either). But clearly, keeping on top of a family this size requires superhuman doses of organization and patience. Not to mention a level of personal sacrifice beyond measure.
“People are always asking, ‘How do you have time for yourself?’ ” says Jen. “But when you realize there’s more to life than yourself . . . I think time to yourself is overrated.”
Jen and Larry met in 1994 when they were both teachers and soccer coaches at area Catholic high schools. Their soccer teams played each other; they married three years later.
Jen, who grew up on a small farm outside Boston with eight siblings, says she always wanted lots of kids. Larry, who was adopted and has one sibling, had no preconceived notions of family. The couple say they agreed to accept the children God sent them.
Nine-and-a-half months after their wedding, their first child was born. Eleven-and-a-half months later, a second arrived. Today, the Kilmers’ children are ages 12, 11, 10, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 4, 3 and 1.
A day in the life
During the school year, Jen’s days begin at 5 a.m.
She lays out the children’s uniforms, makes lunches, then attends 6:30 Mass at the Shrine at St. Jude.
After Mass, Larry and the oldest boys leave for school.
The remaining school-age children get dressed, eat breakfast, grab lunches and walk to school. The youngest stay home with Mom, who finishes up the morning routine: cleaning from breakfast, making beds and putting in a load of laundry. This fall, two of the three youngest will start preschool, adding a little wrinkle to the established morning routine.
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