“I constantly worry,” said Holloman, 48, of District Heights.
“I worry because of the way the world is today for young black men,” said the mother of six, including a fourth son, Ronnie, 26. “It seems like there are so many ways they can get caught up: discrimination, drugs, not being able to find a job, going to jail, violence. You have to be on the lookout constantly to make sure they are safe.”
Bringing up black boys is so difficult now, she and other African American mothers said in interviews, because the boundaries surrounding their safety are more difficult to discern. Even the definition of safety takes on a different connotation.
It’s not just about physical harm. It’s about school, where black boys nationwide graduate less frequently and are suspended and expelled more frequently than other boys. It’s about the workplace, where it is more difficult for their sons to find and keep jobs. It’s about self-esteem, which is a constant battle for some black men and youths in a society where negative stereotypes leave some people fearful of them or hesitant to associate with them.
Jolene Ivey, a Maryland state delegate from Prince George’s County and the mother of five boys, founded the organization Mocha Moms to bring black mothers together to support one another in their parenting experiences. Like other mothers, she is concerned that her boys — Alex, 21; David, 18; Julian, 15; Troy, 13; and Aaron, 11 — “reach their full potential, do as well in life as they can, be as happy as they can, make contributions to the world, be good people and grow up in one piece.”
But she is also concerned about some issues that her friends who are white are less likely to face. Ivey and her husband, Glenn, the former two-term state’s attorney in Prince George’s, spent days on pins and needles after one of their sons was accused of a crime he did not commit. Although her son denied wrongdoing and she and her husband confirmed his version of events, authorities cleared him only after a series of text messages proved that he was not the culprit, Ivey said.
“I worry about them being accused of something they didn’t do, because there are severe consequences for that,” she said.
The days of Emmitt Till, a 14-year-old murdered in 1955 for allegedly flirting with a white woman, may be long gone, she said. But racism and injustice are still around. “It can be a police officer taking you off for something you didn’t do,” she said.
Trying to avoid danger
Without exception, the African American mothers interviewed for this article said they remain deeply concerned that their sons might be affected by physical violence.
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