Teaching kids to be grateful may have long-term benefits even though it’s not easy

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Though ’tis the season, Froh suggests replacing mall trips with non-acquisitive events such as going to the park, playing sports or spending quality family time at home. “It’s important to orient kids towards the values and needs that matter, getting away from those that don’t,” he explains. “Filling them with a sense of all the awe and wonder in the world . . . helps them realize that there’s a lot more to be grateful for” than new cellphones or toys.

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Help them help others

It’s almost never too early to introduce the idea that not everybody in the world has everything they need or want. Take small kids to drop off presents at a local hospital or animal rescue league; older ones can volunteer at organizations around the area, although simply lending a hand to an elderly neighbor who needs help shoveling snow or grocery shopping can be just as impactful, says Mackey. These activities can show “how good it feels to see someone happy because of something you’ve done for them.”

Take the long view

It doesn’t matter if your little one doesn’t mean that quick “thank you” for the ugly sweater from Aunt Mary. “Early on, it might have to be this rote ‘When someone does something kind, you say thank you,’ ” says Froh, who suggests explaining that you can appreciate the effort made even if the gift isn’t perfect. “Walking kids through those thoughts will increase the chances of them experiencing that genuine, real gratitude one day.”

All that said, there will still be times when kids falter. “Don’t expect a 2-year-old or even a 5-year-old and certainly a teenager to do it all the time, or to get it right away,” says Mackey. But, she said, “the more you just incorporate [gratitude] and have it be an important part of who your family is and how you think about life, the more it will trickle down, and kids will get it.” Which, as Froh’s research suggests, may have wide-ranging benefits as well.

Personally, I’m grateful to have the backing of science to support my obsessive prodding and prompting of good manners, and I hope that we all reap the many rewards of a little more thankfulness, this year and beyond.