When Kirk Cousins showed up at the Greene Turtle in Dulles last night, it was with newly-shorn locks. So shorn, in fact, that people were tweeting us photos of the rookie quarterback’s new ‘do. Was it the result of rookie hazing? A lost bet? A conscious choice?
It turns out that it was none of those things.
Cousins decided that Monday was the day to get a much-needed haircut, and he chose to go to a barber instead of a hair salon because he’s more of a “barber kind of guy.” It didn’t go so well.
“I get in there and I sit down, and the lady, I don’t really understand her because she’s not speaking English that clearly,” he told me. “There was a communication breakdown of some kind. She took my glasses off so I couldn’t really see what she was doing.”
The barber went got to work on Cousins’s head without another word.
“I put [my glasses] back on, she wheels me around, I look in the mirror and basically I have a mohawk,” said Cousins, shaking his head. “And I said, ‘Okay, you’re just gonna have to buzz it off.’ I definitely want to apologize to my friends and family back home because I try to represent them well, but this haircut isn’t doing it.”
Cousins tried to hide his buzzed head by wearing a hat to Redskins Park yesterday, but it only drew more attention.
“I saw him wearing a toboggan, and I was thinking that it wasn’t that cold outside,” Trent Williams said. “Then I saw him lift it a little bit and couldn’t believe it. It’s not his best look.”
Cousins said most of his teammates were giving him a hard time, including Pierre Garcon.
“He said, ‘Kirk, what did you do? Did you lose a bet?’” laughed Cousins. “I said ‘No.’ He said, ‘Any swag you got from the game is gone now.’”
Unfortunately for Cousins, his loss of swagger isn’t the worst thing about his new look.
“The toughest part of the whole deal is, until this point I didn’t realize I have a receding hairline,” said Cousins. “The harsh reality of a receding hairline on Monday; it really took away the joy of Sunday. Now I gotta start saving money for Bosley treatments. I gotta be even more frugal. I can’t be hiring movers now. I gotta put the mover money towards the Bosley treatment.”
If there’s one player in the locker room who you can count on to be diplomatic about things, it’s Robert Griffin III, but even he couldn’t defend the cut.
“I’m sorry guys, that’s bad,” he said during his presser, when asked about his backup’s new look. “It’s bad.”
Below is a photo Kirk Cousins last weekend, and the photo above is from today. It’s not so bad.