Author’s Note: In honor of Thanksgiving week, I’m only posting silliness for the next few hours. Or things that could be accused of being silliness. Enjoy.
Amid all the sacks Robert Griffin III has been a part of this season, the most painful looking shot may have come on Monday night, when the ball was already out of his hands. Mike Shanahan challenged the ruling on that incomplete pass, of course, and many of us thought he was nuts, believing timeouts should be treated like jewels, not squandered like acorns. On the other hand, his quarterback was squinting like he had just chopped up some onions, and Shanahan may have been buying time. If so, he rocks. Sure, some fans howled, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
Anyhow, the boys went on to lose that game, and while fans were already back in the parking lot flinging bean bags and roasting potatoes, Robert Griffin III’s father went into the locker room to check on his son. As with everything that happens lately, this prompted some critics to cast stones, rather loudly. It’s the kind of rhetoric that will cause bags under the kid’s eyes.
But not yet. Because he sure seemed carefree and unrestrained when discussing the incident on Wednesday.
“He showed up,” Griffin told reporters. (Watch it here.) “I was shocked that he was there, but he meant no harm. And anybody out there that’s going after my dad needs to back up. That is my father. I will protect my family. You know, he served 21 years in the military. I know that’s not an excuse for anything he does, but he’s not overstepping any bounds. So I hope that people respect that and will back off.”
“What did you tell him?” Griffin was asked.
“My dad? When he came in there he asked me if I was ok, I said yeah I’m all right, and then me and him just talked. That was it.”
“Rob, what was he concerned about?” my former colleague, Tarik El-Bashir asked. “What did he see that made him think that you were hurt?”
“Just taking a couple shots,” Griffin said. “Obviously I got kicked, you know, in the gonads. They wanted to see if I was ok there.”
I mean, coming right out and saying ‘gonads’ takes some real….nerve. No subtlety at all, this one.
And he obviously heard about it from a team employee, too.
“C’mon, Tony” Griffin pleaded with a grin. “That’s an acceptable word. That’s politically correct, right? So he was just checking on that. No mom wants to see her kid out there getting hit, at all. So like I said, it was just him being a father, my mom being a mother. And there was no problem in that. ”
“So it’s good to know there’ll be a Griffin the Fourth then?” CSN’s Chick Hernandez inquired.
“There will be a Griffin the Fourth,” the quarterback confirmed. “There will be. There will be.”
And everyone had a good laugh. Even though I would argue this is not an appropriate topic for jokes.
Also, next time you want to use a funny line, remember: Not Unless Tony Says.