A lot of things happened during Monday night’s Racing Presidents Presidents Race, but the gist was this: There was a soccer ball, and many soccer maneuvers, and the American tandem of George Washington and Abe Lincoln evaded the Belgian (?) tandem of William Howard Taft and Thomas Jefferson, and the Americans managed to penetrate the Belgian (?) box although Abe was kind of late to the party, and at the end Teddy Roosevelt emerged as the evil Belgian (?) goaltender, and then George Washington and Abraham Lincoln — after some shoddy moments, if I’m being honest — finally connected on a nifty combination, aided largely by a poor showing by the Belgian (?) Teddy, who dove randomly to the side, allowing George and Abraham to score a deserved tally, at which point a helper handed U and S and A placards to Abe and George and a corporate-sponsored lizard, and after some kind of discordant moments the Nats Park crowd finally chanted “U-S-A, U-S-A” in unison.
You can keep your fancy well-produced hype videos. All I need is two Presidents, a defeated Belgian (?) Teddy, and a corporate lizard.
(Via Let Teddy Win.)