Betty White is not dead


She’s still breathing. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)

Some people just don’t get homonyms.

“Actress Betty White, 92, Dyes Peacefully In Her Los Angeles Home,” according to satirical news Web site “Empire News.”

That’s “dyes,” not “dies.”

Empire News explained: “In a press release from her long-time manager Jeff Witjas, it has been confirmed today that actress Betty White, best known for her roles on TVs The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and Hot in Cleveland, is not a natural blonde.”

Get it?

Many on the Internet did not.

The Los Angeles Times even reached out to White’s agent to confirm her continued existence, which began before the Great Depression in 1922.

“She is on the set shooting ‘Hot in Cleveland’ right now,” Jeff Witjas told the paper.

Snopes weighed in to make the debunking official. “The article was just a spoof,” it reported.

Editors: Spike those obits.

Crisis averted.

Possible future “Empire News” headline for an article about a former “Golden Girl” who attempts to unclog a drain: “Betty White, 92, is Lye-ing in State.”

Get it?

Justin Wm. Moyer is a reporter for The Washington Post's Morning Mix. Follow him on Twitter: @justinwmmoyer.
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