Goodnight Nanny-Cam

That old favorite — or not, if you’ve read it 9,392 times, as I have — Goodnight Moon has been parodied, parodied and parodied some more. There was Goodnight iPad: A Parody for the Next Generation, an affectionate send-up of techie parents. There was Goodnight Keith Moon: A Parody!, a paean to the Who’s irrepressible drummer. There was Goodnight Goon: A Petrifying Parody (“In a cold grey tomb, with a black lagoon…”). And, just this week, there was Slate’s Goodnight Snow Days — retweeted endlessly as parents tried to get through yet another day with kids home from school.

Which brings us to Jen Nessel and Lizzy Ratner’s Goodnight Nanny-Cam: A Parody for Modern Parents. If the title sounds familiar, that’s because it’s hitting your demographic– it originated as a 2012 “Shouts & Murmurs” column in The New Yorker. So what might you find in this book — aside from another gag gift for new parents, along the lines of Go the F**k to Sleep? For one thing, you might find a bit of yourself. Oh, sure, you’ll laugh at first. Then you’ll realize that you have half these products in your own well-thought-out nursery. Here goes:

In the great green certified room (Any BPA in your house? Didn’t think so.)

(Plume) The great green-certified Room. Look familiar?
The great green-certified room. Look familiar?

There was a smart phone (The 6-year-old has learned to read. That’s good. You now catch him reading your iPhone texts. Not good.)

And a silver spoon (What to do with that weird gift from Aunt Edna?)

And a picture of a high-contrast, brain stimulating black-and-white moon (We know: You wanted that sweet farm-animal mobile, but hung the black-and-white blocks instead, thinking they would make your kid smarter.)

(Plume) Yes, the pastel things are cuter, but boy, your kid's going to be smarter with this!
Yes, the pastel things are cuter, but boy, your kid’s going to be smarter with this!

A few of the other parodied items? High window guards. French flash cards (Oui? Non.) Toys without phthalates. (Did you spend hours pouring over the Environmental Working Group’s Web site in those early days? Just me? Oh.)

(Plume) Window guards. Flashcards. Check. Check.
Window guards. Flashcards. Check. Check.

And a biligual nanny who was whispering “hush” (Le hush.)

(Plume) How do you say "hush" in French?
How do you say “hush” in French?

Goodnight baby monitor and the nanny-cam (Also known as our children’s first introduction to the NSA.)

Goodnight sunscreen (check), sunglasses (yep), sleep sack (of course), outlet cap (duh).

And, the kicker: Goodnight alpha parents everywhere.

Anyone else tired?

——————————————————————————

(Credit: By Jen Nessel & Lizzy Ratner. Illustrated by Sara Pinto. Published by arrangement with PLUME, a member of Penguin Group (USA), LLC.)

Amy Joyce is the editor and a writer for On Parenting.
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