We have an important and urgent update on the most important story of our time (the resurgence of the monocle), folks.
The most famous monocle-wearing legume in the world has weighed in, issuing a statement through his parent company’s public relations firm:
“It’s been brought to my attention that Hipsters are following in my stylish footsteps by sporting monocles,” Mr. Peanut said (“said”) in a statement just e-mailed over by Shannon Lovich of the public relations agency Olson Engage. “I guess they understand what success on a man’s face looks like.”
Mr. Peanut, who is a peanut and who wears a monocle, also offered (“offered”) three tips for wearing a monocle: Focus on fashion first, try not to blink and remember that there is “only room for one monocle-wearing gentleman in a room.”
This concludes your monocle-related update from Mr. Peanut.