A tree-trimmer named James Valentine is recovering after his GOOD LORD LOOK AT THAT PHOTO. Okay. Sorry. Hang on. Let’s try this again: A tree-trimmer named James Valentine is recovering after an accident sent the chainsaw blade into his neck and shoulder. I will repeat: Chainsaw. Neck and shoulder. Just look at that X-ray! Look at that picture of a chainsaw stuck in a guy’s body! A picture is worth a thousand [sits down, catches breath].
Valentine was sawing a tree trunk in Ross, a town outside of Pittsburgh, when the blade kicked back and cut into him. “It was the worst pain you could ever imagine,” Valentine told the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.
He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors found that the chainsaw missed his carotid artery by less than half an inch. Valentine, who is expected to make a full recovery, plans to return to work in a week or two.