What does the United States government know about Godzilla or any other Godzilla-like creature that may lurk somewhere out there, posing a Godzilla-sized threat to our nation and our cherished way of life?
Not much, as it turns out, which will turn out to be incredibly worrisome in case a Godzilla attack actually winds up happening.
Brian Feldman, a journalist writing for Vocativ, filed a public records request with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to find out just what the government knows. He specifically asked for any documents or data with references to “Godzilla,” “Gojira” or “kaiju.” An assistant administrator for NOAA — a person with a PhD in organic environmental chemistry, I should point out — responded with the following:
“Our search of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration records failed to identify any records in our files that are responsive to this request.”
As Feldman notes, it’s quite worrying that NOAA lacks “any information about how our defense or emergency management agencies would respond to a Godzilla attack.”
Of course, this country is not entirely unprepared. We know that the Air Force has a plan for what to do if Godzilla attacks, something we covered last month in the first installment of what will apparently be an ongoing series devoted to the U.S. government’s Godzilla-related preparations. New York also has its own plans for what to do if Godzilla heads there. Meanwhile, on an unrelated note we’re just going to drop here because why not, the Pentagon has an actual plan for what to do if zombies wind up attacking, which is reassuring.
You can read the government’s response to Feldman’s query here:
We would also like to take this opportunity to highlight this delightful comment from Feldman:
never elect me to public office because i will literally allocate all available resources to searching for monsters and ghosts
— Brian Feldman (@BAFeldman) June 12, 2014
That concludes today’s Godzilla update.