June 20, 2013

A secondary headline with the June 16 Metro article “A web of families” read, “In six hours, social media helped couple in Md. adopt the child of their dreams.” This sentence neatly — though probably unwittingly — sums up the crux of the problem with same-sex marriage and same-sex adoption: It is focused on the desires of adults, not the needs of children.

A child is not a commodity to be coveted, like the car or house of one’s dreams. I have no doubt that Brad Letson and Brad Benton are loving toward Kyler and are probably great dads. But neither of them can ever be Kyler’s mom. Even with an “open adoption” arrangement with his birth mother, Kyler is being deprived of the unique, irreplaceable impact of a life with a mother and father.

It is my hope that every adult, including Mr. Letson and Mr. Benton, can experience the love that is inherent in raising a child. But that fulfillment of adult desires cannot come at the expense of the needs of the child.

Tommy Valentine, Alexandria