March 24

The solution to the Ukraine crisis is not sanctions on Russia, it’s statehood for Ukraine. Let Ukraine apply to be the 51st state (sorry, D.C.).

We have so many commonalities: The Ukrainians hate and fear Russia, and we hate and fear Russia; there are a lot of Ukrainians in Ukraine and there are many Ukrainian-Americans in the United States. We’re practically related. 

Propose this to the Ukrainians, and I bet they’ll jump at the chance to be Americans — to have the National Security Agency watch their every move, to stuff themselves at Thanksgiving and to welcome nuclear weapons back onto their soil. In exchange, we’ll get a European vacation spot, military bases right next to Russia and bragging rights about solving a difficult foreign policy problem. Take that, Vladimir Putin!

Then, any time the Russian president tries to annex another chunk of a neighboring country, we should just ask the folks there if they want to become Americans and, bingo, move in the nukes and No Child Left Behind.

C.E. Wray, Charlottesville