How to get over the house that got away

(Mark Gail/ WASHINGTON POST ) - Marc Macenka plays catch with his daughter in the couple's living room as Macenka's wife, Deanna holds their new born son Regan. The Macenka family has out-grown their home in Linthicum Height, Md.

(Mark Gail/ WASHINGTON POST ) - Marc Macenka plays catch with his daughter in the couple's living room as Macenka's wife, Deanna holds their new born son Regan. The Macenka family has out-grown their home in Linthicum Height, Md.

It was the “perfect” house. A unique design. Spacious. Lots of alcoves, with bench seating in the windows. Expansive master suite. Stonework. An Old World feel. In the right neighborhood for close to the right price.

That’s how Marc Macenka wistfully describes the house that got away: a Dutch colonial in Carroll County, Md., that he and his wife, Deanna, lost to another bidder a year ago. They had envisioned living there with their then-2-year-old from the moment they saw it. With a second child on the way and the market and interest rates in their favor, they’d hoped to move quickly from their split-level home of 17 years in Linthicum.

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But it was not to be.

“We were pretty disappointed,” remembers Macenka. He was also “furious” when he found out that he lost to a bid lower than his $605,000 offer because the buyer was a friend of the seller’s and had expressed interest before the house was listed at $650,000. The seller could still make money at the lower price because, with the sale to a friend, the seller had to pay only a 3 percent commission to his real estate agent. That’s about half the commission the seller would have owed had Macenka or another buyer closed the deal.

Now, with their second child only a month old, Macenka says the family is taking “a break” after losing out on “several houses” and passing on a dozen more. The family still compares everything to that first house and has found them wanting, says their new agent, Taylor Connolly of the online realty firm Redfin.

“We think about it so much. We check that neighborhood all the time,” Macenka says.

How to get over the house that got away is a common problem, real estate agents say. It’s particularly difficult for first-time buyers who can swoon over good looks — the decor, new carpet, curb appeal — rather than inner beauty or good “bones” — like a nice layout where an old kitchen can be updated easily or where the bathrooms may be passe but large.

Houses for sale in trendy neighborhoods in the Washington area can break the heart of many at one blow, since bidding wars are common again, agents note.

But with all-cash buying at a record high — 35 percent of national sales in March, according to the National Association of Realtors — those looking for deals can be unlucky in love. Even if offers come in at list price with a generous down payment, many sellers decide that an all-cash buyer trumps other bidders. With an all-cash deal, the house doesn’t need to meet the appraisal required by a lender.

“I have many agents who have experienced [the-house-that-got-away syndrome] recently,” says Holly Worthington, a broker at Long & Foster Woodley Park and Chevy Chase. “Some buyers quit looking altogether, and others move on and buy something else quickly if they can,” Worthington adds.

“I have a client who missed out in Great Falls and really hasn’t recovered yet,” says Trudy Severa, a Long & Foster agent in Ashburn.

Richard Oder, a Long & Foster agent in Woodley Park, says a couple of clients lately “have kind of had a hard time understanding how they can lose. All they’ve been hearing in the media is how down the market is, but in the Washington, D.C., area, in sought-after neighborhoods, we’re seeing more offers” and multiple bids. A recent client’s hopes were dashed when a fetching Georgetown property — wider than most, with lots of windows, big rooms and a garage but needing some work — drew 11 offers. It sold for $100,000 over the $1.025 million list price.

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