Dec. 29, at New York Giants
Before final regular season game in East Rutherford, N.J., Griffin and wife drive 19 miles to Union, N.J., headquarters of Bed, Bath & Beyond. There they swap Vera Wang Wedgwood with Love Toasting Flutes, 11-foot Outdoor Round Cantilever Solar Umbrella with Steel Frame in Latte (retail $299.99), Calphalon Easy Release Melon Baller and other unnecessary gifts purchased by fans living on fixed incomes for . . . diapers and pacifiers. Page 6 of the New York Post speculates the pending arrival of RGIV. But instead Griffin sends them to the Giants’ locker room after Eli Manning and his inferior crew boo-hoo over a no-call. In a scrum on the last play, DeAngelo Hall takes down Victor Cruz in the end zone with no time remaining. Eli’s Hail Mary goes awry. Washington 17, Little, Bawling G-Babies Who Want Their Mommies, 10. 12-4.
Wait, 12-4! Just like Jason Reid predicted in The Post two months before the season started. Sadly, this has all been a J. Reid dream. Time to get up, sleepy head.
Given the four or five games it’s going to take for Griffin to get his legs and genuinely feel comfortable in the pocket again, RGIII realistically leads his team to 9-7, losing to the Packers, 49ers, Broncos, Falcons, Kansas City (inexplicably) and splitting with the Giants and Cowboys.
But 9-7 qualifies Washington for wild-card status, and RGIII and the fellas beat Green Bay and Atlanta on the road in January and make it all the way to the NFC championship game — where Kirk Cousins is intercepted three times after halftime and they lose in Seattle, 34-31. Shanahan is roundly criticized for not playing a gimpy RGIII the entire second half, but saves his job and gets a three-year contract extension for worrying about health concerns before his Hall of Fame bust in Canton.
And Washington takes the next logical step toward the Lombardi Trophy. Meanwhile, Griffin is actually healthy going into the offseason. It’s not fantasy, but it’s practical and all Jimmy Andrews-approved.
For more by Mike Wise, visit washingtonpost.com/wise.