No, you would be Bill Romanowski on 10 Red Bulls, ready to disembowel anyone your coach asked you to.
If you knew what it was like to be a part of Chinstrap Nation, you would know Sean Pamphilon is a pansy cake. You would know the documentary filmmaker who recorded Williams targeting 49ers players before this past January’s playoff game — and then in a fit of social conscience released the footage for what he says is the betterment of America’s children — probably never played a single down in his life. He doesn’t know football. And if he did, he’d be a punter.
People who played or know the game know Williams was speaking metaphorically, that he didn’t really mean for anyone to go out and take out someone’s ACL or test another player’s concussion. All you leftist social engineers out there will say he was targeting specific body parts on players, that he was actually offering to pay the first fine for a violent, illegal hit to quarterback Alex Smith’s chin — and more if any player was carried off on a stretcher.
Okay, so what if he was? This is football, people, not the lingerie league. And you don’t know football.
Neither do Warren Sapp, Michael Irvin and Boomer Esiason. Not anymore. Those former players just came out against Williams’ rah-rah, f-bomb-laden address to his players. You think Williams should be serving an indefinite suspension Commissioner Roger Goodell leveled him with while just decimating the Saints’ franchise? Us headhunters wish Sam Huff would pile-drive all three back to 1955.
After hearing the audio, Irvin said Williams should never coach again. Sapp called it the “most heinous, egregious thing in the history of this game.”
But in our bizarro world, it’s worse to snitch than promote taking away our coworkers’ livelihoods, because this is football.
We’re so tough, rugged and warped about our game, we actually think it’s worse to tell on someone who’s maliciously trying to injure our co-workers than our supervisors actually giving us cash bounties to take away those livelihoods. We’re sick. We’re twisted. And we will do anything to preserve the violence that is the lifeblood of our game.
Because if you appalled-for-society people get your way, you just redefined what we believed our game was about. And we can’t have that. We will protect our search-and-destroy values like we will protect our children. That’s how stubborn and dumb some of us are; that’s how much the toll of being hit upside the head too much has taken on us.