Well, raking leaves is the most obvious answer. You have to do it sometime. But let’s think outside the box — or the bag, as it were. Let’s think of some other things you can do with our Sundays.
They’ve been unwatchable before. Part of the Jim Zorn Era was unwatchable. I admit, I didn’t see “unwatchable” coming under Mike Shanahan, and I’m sure he didn’t either, but it’s here, and we need to deal with it like adults — by avoiding the problem and sulking.
No, no, not really. We’re going to tackle this problem head-on, and the first step is always to admit we have a problem. When they’re on the road, that’s three hours of our lives we’ll never get back. If you have tickets to FedEx, that’s eight hours of your lives you’ll never get back. Decisions must be made.
Some of you, your retinas still intact, will tough it out. Godspeed. But some of you have been making “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more” noises for weeks. You’re the ones I’m worried about.
So let’s make a list. Luckily, this is a busy time of the year, so we can come up with a lot of things to do. Let’s see . . .
●Read a book. If you don’t own a book, go to the library and get one. If you don’t know where your local library is, now’s a great time to find out. Maybe you’ll get lucky and no one will have checked out “Steve Spurrier’s Guide to Northern Virginia Golf Courses.”
●As a tribute to Mike Shanahan, look at some film. But not game film. Film film. In a theater. You could even take your family. As expensive as the concession stand will be, it still pales in comparison to FedEx.
●Clean out your garage, especially if you’re one of those folks whose garage no longer has room for a car — much less a bandwagon.
●Plant your bulbs and mulch. Think of it as preparing a bouquet for Draft Day.
●Change the batteries in your smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors. If you don’t have smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors, buy them. And while you’re at it, hide all sharp objects.
●Get a jump on Christmas. Make your lists of gifts you need to buy, cards you need to send. Head to the mall and get started. Address your Christmas cards — before your favorite players’ addresses change.
If you’re like me, and your Christmas presents are wrapped, your cards are addressed and stamped, your drawers are organized, the contents of your closets are in bins, and the bins are labeled, your DVDs and books are alphabetized and your garage is clean (and for your sake I hope you are not like me; it’s exhausting), then you’re going to have to dig deeper.
●Gather pine cones, which can be spray painted and hot-glued onto a foam frame to make a lovely wreath, or use pipe cleaners to turn them into little Christmas trees. Do not attempt this while watching the Redskins, however, or you’ll end up with spray-painted pine cones glued to your hair, which is a less festive look.
Of course, I’ll still have to watch the games, because it’s sort of my job. And for those of you who decide to take a pass, I still recommend setting up the DVR, just in case. If John Beck suddenly turns into Johnny Unitas, you’re going to want to go back and watch that, preferably without commercials — but with the knowledge that your garage is clean, your home is safe, your leaves are raked, and you’re ready for the holidays. What could be better?