Super Bowl: A win for Big Brother, a new conspiracy for Oliver Stone

Finally, Big Brother fought back. Serena Williams had trumped Venus and Eli Manning had out-clutched Peyton — and, of course, Albert Brooks always has been a bit funnier than Super Dave Osborne — but on Super Bowl Sunday, John Harbaugh outlasted bratty little sibling Jim for the family’s first Lombardi Trophy.

(Spectacular game, but, hey, New Orleans — no lights, no more Super Bowls. That delay caused dip issues for me.)


More Super Bowl coverage

What a finish for Lewis, Ravens

What a finish for Lewis, Ravens

Baltimore holds on for the franchise’s second Super Bowl championship. Quarterback Joe Flacco is the MVP.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was so Ravens

It wasn’t pretty, but it was so Ravens

COLUMN | Baltimore’s Super Bowl victory wouldn’t have been right as a rout. The late defensive stop better fit the way their up-and-down season went.

Ravens turn out the lights on 49ers

Ravens turn out  the lights on 49ers

Baltimore comes out on top, 34-31, after Super Bowl power outage almost steals the game

Power outage delays Super Bowl

Power outage delays Super Bowl

The Superdome is plunged into darkness early in the third quarter, delaying the game by 34 minutes.

A big game victory for Big Brother

A big game victory for Big Brother

COUCH SLOUCH | Super Bowl minute-by-minute all the way to Big Brother bringing home the big trophy.

Super Bowl ads 2013

Super Bowl ads 2013

Super Bowl Sunday is known not only for the sporting event, but also for the commercials.

Moments in Super Bowl history

Moments in Super Bowl history

Relive some of the great plays and key player performances from past Super Bowl games.

Complete coverage

As usual, I took it all in and took copious notes:

2:05 p.m. ET: CBS’s Solomon Wilcots is live at the Ravens’ hotel — I could swear I see two tiny bottles of shampoo in his right jacket pocket.

2:06: Steve Tasker is at the 49ers’ hotel and says the team “has rehearsed their snack schedule” — just like Couch Slouch does!

2:08: Packers’ Clay Matthews tells Greg Gumbel, “Somehow I tricked the execs at CBS to let me on set with you.” Shannon Sharpe did the same thing nine years ago.

2:53: Rachael Ray with the standard I’ll-show-you-something-to-cook-at-home-but-you-never-will-because-you-have-no-idea-what-you’re-doing-in-the-kitchen segment.

3:20: Boomer Esiason keeps shaking hands and high-fiving on the CBS set; is he running for office?

4:04: They show live shot of MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J., site of Super Bowl 48. Several Jets fans already are lined up at the beer concession.

4:08: “How Super of a Bowl is it,” my sage stepdaughter Mia wonders, “if Justin Bieber’s not even there?”

4:23: If CBS does one more heartbreaking pregame feature, I’m going to jump on the next raft and join Greenpeace.

4:35: So President Obama might not let a son of his play football. I doubt he would’ve said that a month before the election.

5:58: Maya Angelou for Union Bank. Really? What’s next, the Dalai Lama for Michelin Tires?

6:20: What’s with Jennifer Hudson? Have a Mallomar, sweetie.

6:22: Alicia Keys isn’t lip-synching the national anthem, but I think that was a player piano.

6:27: A black president and a black Super Bowl referee? This civil rights thing is moving at warp speed.

6:32: Every Super Bowl should start with a touchback — it allows us to catch our breath.

6:33: You prep for two weeks and have an illegal formation on the first play? Bad coaching, man.

6:35: Doritos get all the press, but Fritos are the bomb.

6:38: Delaware has now produced two Super Bowl quarterbacks, Rich Gannon and Joe Flacco. That would be like Taco Bell producing two Le Cordon Bleu instructors.

6:40: I believe that Colin Kaepernick, on his left arm, has tattooed the entire IHOP menu.

6:42: Every time Flacco drives for a touchdown, his asking price goes up a million.

6:46: I always wait until the first Budweiser commercial of the day to drink my first PBR.

6:54: I half expected David Akers to have a cigarette and a blindfold when he came out for his first field goal attempt.

8:09: Beyonce runs the Pistol offense at halftime.

8:32: Ravens’ Jacoby Jones returns second-half kickoff 108 yards to make it 28-6.

8:33: Most of my Super Bowl guests aren’t even arriving until the fourth quarter. Gosh, I’m going to have to entertain them myself.

8:37: The Superdome goes dark — my guess is Shannon Sharpe tripped over his tongue and caused a power outage.

8:45: Uh oh, Solomon Wilcots and Steve Tasker have the only live microphones. The White House could declare it a national emergency.

9:03: If this delay goes any longer, CBS might fly in Charlie Rose to fill.

9:32: 49ers score twice in 2:21 after lights mysteriously went out; Oliver Stone’s thinking he has a new film.

9:34: I remember I needed a power outage during my second honeymoon to change momentum.

10:05: These 49ers have made more comebacks than Robert Downey Jr.

10:20: When calls go against 49ers, Jim Harbaugh looks like his dad’s just grounded him for a week.

10:31: Is “Elementary” still going to be on?

10:34: 49ers fail on fourth and goal; Jim Harbaugh’s head explodes and Ravens survive, 34-31.

10:40: I imagine I’m the only one who thinks the 49ers win this game if they start Alex Smith.

10:45: Boy, Ray Lewis is going to be fired up in retirement with two Super Bowl rings and no murder charges.

Ask The Slouch

Q. I have a bet with my brother: I say the Pro Bowl was last played in 1993; he says it’s next week. Who’s right? (Dan Morgiewicz; Burke, Va.)

A. I’m going to give you each $1.25.

Q. If ESPN televised Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pa., would it be a weeklong event? (Binny Natto; Dormont, Pa.)

A. From your lips to Bristol’s ears, I fear.

Q. Will the Ford Motor Company resurrect the Mercury Cougar line and hire Danica Patrick to drive it? (Joe Ogle; Greenwood, Ind.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

Read what others are saying